Well I've been feeling like crap lately and haven't been in the mood to write or do anything. That's why I've been neglecting this blog. But everyone's asking how I am so here's an update of what I've been up to lately.
As I've said in a previous post, the chemo has taken a toll on me, moreso emotionally. I don't know if it is a combination of the early menopause side effect (where my hormones are going haywire and my mood swings insane) or the depression of having cancer (chemo being on top of the list, baldness coming close on second, and the "why me" dilemma lingering on my brain lately). My doctors said these are normal and they said I'm allowed to have bad days. It's only natural they said. However they didn't tell me how bad it would be. Crappy, crappy, crappy!
Sometimes I wish I have a magic button, where I can just press it and voila, my anxieties, depression, problems, stress and illness will all go away. But that's fantasy. The reality is I'm all that and maybe more. =( I pray hard everyday for God to give me strength and so far He's been giving me just that. Taking it one day at a time is definitely what I'm doing. Some days are tougher than others but so far He has not let me down. =)
But hey, I only have one chemo left. I can see the finish line! I'm sure Mr. Chemo will not go without a big bang so I'm not looking forward to the pain I'll be experiencing again next week. So celebrating Mother's Day is up in the air right now. Mr. Chemo definitely knows how to spoil my fun.
I also signed up for an eight-week seminar or workshop called "Chemo Brain". It's every Monday. After attending only two sessions, I am really surprised that the medical specialist hit every symptoms all the participants (cancer patients) have bang on. We're not allowed to discuss anything outside of the course but from my experience, the doctor hit the nail on the head with my symptoms - memory loss, uncoordinated thoughts, etc. I'm glad I signed up for this course. It will help with my treatments and healing process.
We met my radiation oncologist on Monday, signed the consent form to proceed with the treatment and scheduled a CT scan and the tattoo for May 21st. Dr. W's guesstimate is that treatment will start on June 2nd and I'll have 20 treatments instead of 21. Yey, minus one treatment!!! If it does, my radiation ends June 29.
Dr. W examined me as usual and he said my sutures are healing well plus the size of the scar tissue decreasing. However he also noticed that I have slight lymphedema on my right arm. I didn't even know I had it until he examined me. But that probably explains why my right arm has been feeling weird lately. Dr. W suggested I should elevate my right arm while sleeping or resting. He's not recommending therapy yet but if it worsens, he will. We'll try Dr. W's suggestion first and see how it goes.
So what to look "forward" to with the radiation treatment? Of the 20 radiations, 16 will focus on the whole right breast and four (or maybe five) will focus where the tumor was located. There will be no bloodworks done (woohoo!). No nausea or vomitting. The main and most common side effect is fatigue. Dr. W said it won't be much different with the fatigue I'm experiencing with chemo. We'll see about that! The chronic side effects are: skin discolouration, fibrosis or hardening of the affected area, possible swelling, might have blisters or skin reactions. It will be more of a discomfort than anything. After meeting Dr. W, the nurse gave us a pep talk about the do's and dont's during radiation.
Along with radiation, I think my hormonal therapy will start as well. Dr. K is in charge of that but I think these are just oral medications that I have to take for FIVE years!!! Dr. K said it will start a month after my last chemo, so roughly around the same time as radiation.
I'm having my bloodwork done and meeting Dr. K tomorrow. Hopefully he will give his thumbs up for the last chemo next week. One more chemo!!!!
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