Since my radiation started I apply the glaxal base cream at least three times a day to avoid severe dryness or any type of skin reaction on my breast. This is my routine everyday for another month. The longer the radiation, the darker my skin was. As I was applying the cream tonight I just noticed how gross my skin looked like under my right breast. Ew!
My right breast looks almost like a burnt meat from the grill with some char on the side, especially where the lump was taken. Ew!
It is also starting to get itchy and achy. From a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, I would say the itchiness is between 2-3 and the achiness about 3 when it does happen. I have been trying my best not to scratch it when it's itchy because I don't want it to get worse, possibly causing another "Ew!". I should put more hydrocortisone cream on it to prevent the itchiness.
Anyway, this is temporary, I was told the skin will go back to normal in about 3 weeks or so. The good thing is it is hidden which means people can't see it and won't have to say "Ew!" :)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
It's Over!!!!!
The long wait is over, I finished my radiation treatment this morning!!!! Finished, finito, the end. That was it, no more going to hospitals and no more exposures to radiation.
I was so sleepy on the way to the hospital. My appointment was at 9:00 a.m. But I felt alive and great after the radiation therapy was over. It was such a relief! I said goodbye to the radiation technicians one last time. One of them even wished me "all the best". It was perfect timing when I heard one of my favorite dance songs on the radio, I was so happy I even danced a wee bit in my car. I told Mark I should par-teh and celebrate. Mark said he'll take me out for dinner tonight. Cool.
Technically I'm still receiving treatment, hormonal therapy. But that's in pill form. As our son, Joshua, would say "easy, peezy!" From now on it will only be follow-up visits to my doctors, Dr. C, Dr. P and Dr. K.
I'm on the road to recovery. Neato! :)
I was so sleepy on the way to the hospital. My appointment was at 9:00 a.m. But I felt alive and great after the radiation therapy was over. It was such a relief! I said goodbye to the radiation technicians one last time. One of them even wished me "all the best". It was perfect timing when I heard one of my favorite dance songs on the radio, I was so happy I even danced a wee bit in my car. I told Mark I should par-teh and celebrate. Mark said he'll take me out for dinner tonight. Cool.
Technically I'm still receiving treatment, hormonal therapy. But that's in pill form. As our son, Joshua, would say "easy, peezy!" From now on it will only be follow-up visits to my doctors, Dr. C, Dr. P and Dr. K.
I'm on the road to recovery. Neato! :)
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Rekindling Old Ties
Yesterday was a gorgeous sunny day. It was a perfect day to rekindle old ties with my high school classmates who lives in our area. I haven't seen them in ages. We had a blast. The venue was at a picnic area beside a marina. It was so beautiful.
Prior to the reunion I asked the organizer if the picnic area is directly under the sun. I said for health reasons I cannot be exposed to the sun for a long period of time. Fortunately the picnic area had a shed and I was ok. However, all of my friends kept asking me why I cannot be exposed to the sun. They wanted me to explain what "health reasons" meant. Every time they did ask me, I changed the topic.
Nobody noticed the wig, in fact, I got a compliment when one of them said she loves my new hair. ;) I didn't say anything about my illness. I thought it wasn't the right time to do so.
Yesterday was all about rekindling old ties with my high school friends and not about me. I didn't want to spoil the fun. We had such a great time, laughing and reminiscing the good old days. It was the break I needed. It also felt great to feel "normal" again, not having to think about breast cancer even for a portion of a day was priceless.
It was an awesome day. :)
Prior to the reunion I asked the organizer if the picnic area is directly under the sun. I said for health reasons I cannot be exposed to the sun for a long period of time. Fortunately the picnic area had a shed and I was ok. However, all of my friends kept asking me why I cannot be exposed to the sun. They wanted me to explain what "health reasons" meant. Every time they did ask me, I changed the topic.
Nobody noticed the wig, in fact, I got a compliment when one of them said she loves my new hair. ;) I didn't say anything about my illness. I thought it wasn't the right time to do so.
Yesterday was all about rekindling old ties with my high school friends and not about me. I didn't want to spoil the fun. We had such a great time, laughing and reminiscing the good old days. It was the break I needed. It also felt great to feel "normal" again, not having to think about breast cancer even for a portion of a day was priceless.
It was an awesome day. :)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Down to the Wire
I cannot believe it but three more days of radiation and I'm done. It's down to the wire!
Today was the start of the boost treatment phase of my radiation. This is where they focus the beam/radiation where the tumor was located. The radiation technician explained to me what it does this morning but of course I cannot remember a thing he said at the moment. Chemo brain in action! ;) Maybe I'll remember it later.
I'm getting four of these boost treatments, one done today and three more to go. My last day of radiation is June 29th.
Yesterday we saw Dr. W for the last time. He checked my breast and was glad to see my skin looks excellent. Dr. W said the redness and spots are normal, so are the tightness of the breast muscles and the skin discolouration of my right armpit. Dr. W did warn me that the boost treatments may give me some bad skin reactions and some swelling. If I do, I'm supposed to call him pronto so he can check. Dr. W also told me to continue using the glaxal base cream for another month. I use the cream 3-4 times a day to prevent dryness as the skin tends to be that when undergoing radiation. Another big no-no is to be exposed to the sun during treatment and 2-4 weeks thereafter. No swimming either especially in pools since they contain chlorine (approximately 2-3 weeks after radiation). But after a couple of months, he said I can go back to my normal stuff like wearing regular bras. ;)
Dr. W is really nice and friendly. It was great to have him as a doctor.
Today was the start of the boost treatment phase of my radiation. This is where they focus the beam/radiation where the tumor was located. The radiation technician explained to me what it does this morning but of course I cannot remember a thing he said at the moment. Chemo brain in action! ;) Maybe I'll remember it later.
I'm getting four of these boost treatments, one done today and three more to go. My last day of radiation is June 29th.
Yesterday we saw Dr. W for the last time. He checked my breast and was glad to see my skin looks excellent. Dr. W said the redness and spots are normal, so are the tightness of the breast muscles and the skin discolouration of my right armpit. Dr. W did warn me that the boost treatments may give me some bad skin reactions and some swelling. If I do, I'm supposed to call him pronto so he can check. Dr. W also told me to continue using the glaxal base cream for another month. I use the cream 3-4 times a day to prevent dryness as the skin tends to be that when undergoing radiation. Another big no-no is to be exposed to the sun during treatment and 2-4 weeks thereafter. No swimming either especially in pools since they contain chlorine (approximately 2-3 weeks after radiation). But after a couple of months, he said I can go back to my normal stuff like wearing regular bras. ;)
Dr. W is really nice and friendly. It was great to have him as a doctor.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Hot, Hot, Hot....
Summer's here! Yay! :) The flowers are in full bloom, the sky is blue and the birds are chirping. Beautiful!
However, hot humid weather and hot flashes are unbearable! Oh my! Those two plus a broken A/C is torture. So you can just imagine my dilemma. I hope Mr. A/C Fix-it-guy will be my hero tomorrow and get the sucker up and running again.
I forgot to mention that Dr. K told me I have perimenopause. I'm already experiencing hot flashes since I had the chemo. Dr. K said the hormonal therapy will kick it up a notch, to the point that the hot flashes might be too much to handle. Oh dear.
Wearing a wig doesn't help either. I didn't mind wearing it last winter/spring but it is hot and uncomfortable in the summer. It's like having a built in oven on your head. The same goes when wearing a bandana or a cap at home. Hot! A few more months before the real deal comes out and when it does it will be bye-bye wiggy, au revoir caps/bandanas.
However, hot humid weather and hot flashes are unbearable! Oh my! Those two plus a broken A/C is torture. So you can just imagine my dilemma. I hope Mr. A/C Fix-it-guy will be my hero tomorrow and get the sucker up and running again.
I forgot to mention that Dr. K told me I have perimenopause. I'm already experiencing hot flashes since I had the chemo. Dr. K said the hormonal therapy will kick it up a notch, to the point that the hot flashes might be too much to handle. Oh dear.
Wearing a wig doesn't help either. I didn't mind wearing it last winter/spring but it is hot and uncomfortable in the summer. It's like having a built in oven on your head. The same goes when wearing a bandana or a cap at home. Hot! A few more months before the real deal comes out and when it does it will be bye-bye wiggy, au revoir caps/bandanas.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Noggin Update and more
I saw Dr. C this afternoon about three things: my weird headache, an unusual rash and to fill up my disability form.
Before she checked me, Dr. C asked how I am and if my hair started growing. I gave her a peak of my baldness. She said it's coming! :) Then we ended up talking how my kids are taking it, the baldness and my illness. I told her they're ok with my baldness and that we even make fun of it these days. I also told Dr. C that Jason is the one who wants certainty about my well-being and my hair. It was quite a discussion but I won't go into details about it. Secret ;)
Anyway, I complained about my weird headache. I told her about the pain I've been experiencing and mentioned it was not a regular headache. The pain was only at two specific locations. She asked me to do some tests: walk a straight line; checked my eyes; moved my hands/palms in certain movements; and, touched her index fingers using mine then touch the tip of my nose. Afterwards Dr. C said she doesn't believe it's brain tumor. Brain tumor?!?!?!?!?!?! What the heck?!?!?! I never even thought of that! My face probably turned white because Dr. C assured me it isn't brain tumor. She said my motor skills are all fine and I'm thinking straight. She told me not to worry about it. Her advice, take Advil or Tylenol if the headache happens again. God I hope it isn't anything serious because I'm not sure if I can handle any more bad news regarding my health.
I also asked Dr. C to check my calves. They have been problematic for a couple of months now. First was the swelling, then pain and now itchiness. My calves have been itchy. Initially I thought it was severe dry skin. I slathered them with tons of moisturizers and thick cream. It relieved the itchiness for a little while but it's not going away. Since the weekend I felt the itchiness going up almost to the back of my knees. I knew it wasn't dry skin. It drove me up the wall. It turns out that it might be eczema or a mild allergy to something. Dr. C said I might be allergic to grass and asked that I refrain from gardening for now. She prescribed a cortizone cream. I hope that helps.
After that was the boring part - my disability forms. Yawn! At least it was over and done with. I'll submit those tomorrow.
That's it, there's nothing wrong with my noggin. :)
Before she checked me, Dr. C asked how I am and if my hair started growing. I gave her a peak of my baldness. She said it's coming! :) Then we ended up talking how my kids are taking it, the baldness and my illness. I told her they're ok with my baldness and that we even make fun of it these days. I also told Dr. C that Jason is the one who wants certainty about my well-being and my hair. It was quite a discussion but I won't go into details about it. Secret ;)
Anyway, I complained about my weird headache. I told her about the pain I've been experiencing and mentioned it was not a regular headache. The pain was only at two specific locations. She asked me to do some tests: walk a straight line; checked my eyes; moved my hands/palms in certain movements; and, touched her index fingers using mine then touch the tip of my nose. Afterwards Dr. C said she doesn't believe it's brain tumor. Brain tumor?!?!?!?!?!?! What the heck?!?!?! I never even thought of that! My face probably turned white because Dr. C assured me it isn't brain tumor. She said my motor skills are all fine and I'm thinking straight. She told me not to worry about it. Her advice, take Advil or Tylenol if the headache happens again. God I hope it isn't anything serious because I'm not sure if I can handle any more bad news regarding my health.
I also asked Dr. C to check my calves. They have been problematic for a couple of months now. First was the swelling, then pain and now itchiness. My calves have been itchy. Initially I thought it was severe dry skin. I slathered them with tons of moisturizers and thick cream. It relieved the itchiness for a little while but it's not going away. Since the weekend I felt the itchiness going up almost to the back of my knees. I knew it wasn't dry skin. It drove me up the wall. It turns out that it might be eczema or a mild allergy to something. Dr. C said I might be allergic to grass and asked that I refrain from gardening for now. She prescribed a cortizone cream. I hope that helps.
After that was the boring part - my disability forms. Yawn! At least it was over and done with. I'll submit those tomorrow.
That's it, there's nothing wrong with my noggin. :)
Sunday, June 21, 2009
What's up with my noggin?
I'm still getting the weird headache. Man, what's up with that? Two specific areas now, both on the left side. One on the center, one on top of my left ears. Is it something to do with my eyes, my brain or what? Yesterday, I was a bit dizzy too. Rest and sleep doesn't seem to help since I still get it when I wake up. I gotta check with Dr. C tomorrow.
I hope there's nothin' wrong with my noggin.
I hope there's nothin' wrong with my noggin.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Darn it!
One day I feel great, today I feel like crap. I have an unusual headache since noon today. Just one specific spot on my head. It comes and goes. Darn it, I hope it is nothing.
I am also tired. Is fatigue kicking in due to my radiation? Maybe.
I better take it easy.
I am also tired. Is fatigue kicking in due to my radiation? Maybe.
I better take it easy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Time for a Happy Dance!!!!
Well folks, Dr. K, my medical oncologist also my chemo skipper, gave me the big thumbs up that I am cancer free!!! I believe a happy dance is in order! Oooh baby, baby, ba, ba, ba, baby.... I feel good!!!!
Like what I said to a few people today, I kinda knew I was cancer free when they removed the tumor out of my breast. But boy, oh, boy, it feels absolutely great to hear it straight from my medical oncologist's mouth that I am cancer-free! I can't explain how happy I am. :) If you could see me now, I have a big grin on my face as I am writing this entry.
I have other news related to my treatments, my radiation is treatment is going well. So far my skin looks great according to my radiation team. I can tell the affected area is slightly burnt but it doesn't sting or bother me. What bothers me is sometimes I feel pain where the tumor was taken out. They told me to take Tylenol to relieve the pain.
My hormonal therapy will start tomorrow as soon as I get the meds from the pharmacy. Dr. K explained the reason why I have to undergo hormonal therapy. He said my hormone receptor is positive, "barely positive" to be exact. The numbers are almost borderline between negative and positive, but since it is positive (even barely positive), I have to be treated with Tamoxifen. Dr. K said there are two options for hormonal therapy: Option 1, take Tamoxifen only for five years; or Option 2, what he calls a "switching strategy" where they prescribe Tamoxifen first and then switch to a newer drug after 2-3 years. Dr. K will evaluate at a later date which option is suitable for me. He thinks he might recommend Option 2.
Like any other treatment, Dr. K told us the pros and cons of hormonal therapy. He said hormonal therapy slightly reduces the risk of heart attack and it also helps make my bones stronger. The downside is there is the small risk of getting uterine cancer (less than one percent chance that I might get it). Clotting in the veins is also a possibility. However Dr. K said not to worry about it, he said hormonal therapy is very effective especially for women who still gets their monthly period. If you will recall from my previous posts, I want my period to end since I've been having problems with it. But now that Dr. K said it will actually help with my hormonal therapy, I can't wait to get it back!!! (This might be too much info to my male friends! hee hee) Another thing is Dr. K also said that this therapy may affect my ovaries. If so, he will recommend that my ovaries be removed. I have no problems with that.
The biggest side effect of Tamoxifen is having hot flashes. I told him I'm already getting it because of the chemo. Dr. K said the hot flashes will get worse with Tamoxifen. Great.
Dr. K did not recommend any further testing to determine if cancer has spread to my body. He said a CAT scan or any type of test may be inconclusive and give false results. I guess it will be a wait and see game. But for now I am cancer free. :) I will still take this one day at a time.
Dr. K did order a mammogram only, not an ultrasound. After the misdiagnosis of my mammo last year, Mark and I questioned Dr. K why not get an ultrasound too. Dr. K said that if the mammo will be inconclusive, only then will he order an ultrasound. A mammo has been scheduled for July 13th and I'll meet with Dr. K to discuss the mammo findings on July 28th.
I will worry about that later. My fight against cancer is not over yet but for now it is time for a happy dance! Woohoo!!!!
Like what I said to a few people today, I kinda knew I was cancer free when they removed the tumor out of my breast. But boy, oh, boy, it feels absolutely great to hear it straight from my medical oncologist's mouth that I am cancer-free! I can't explain how happy I am. :) If you could see me now, I have a big grin on my face as I am writing this entry.
I have other news related to my treatments, my radiation is treatment is going well. So far my skin looks great according to my radiation team. I can tell the affected area is slightly burnt but it doesn't sting or bother me. What bothers me is sometimes I feel pain where the tumor was taken out. They told me to take Tylenol to relieve the pain.
My hormonal therapy will start tomorrow as soon as I get the meds from the pharmacy. Dr. K explained the reason why I have to undergo hormonal therapy. He said my hormone receptor is positive, "barely positive" to be exact. The numbers are almost borderline between negative and positive, but since it is positive (even barely positive), I have to be treated with Tamoxifen. Dr. K said there are two options for hormonal therapy: Option 1, take Tamoxifen only for five years; or Option 2, what he calls a "switching strategy" where they prescribe Tamoxifen first and then switch to a newer drug after 2-3 years. Dr. K will evaluate at a later date which option is suitable for me. He thinks he might recommend Option 2.
Like any other treatment, Dr. K told us the pros and cons of hormonal therapy. He said hormonal therapy slightly reduces the risk of heart attack and it also helps make my bones stronger. The downside is there is the small risk of getting uterine cancer (less than one percent chance that I might get it). Clotting in the veins is also a possibility. However Dr. K said not to worry about it, he said hormonal therapy is very effective especially for women who still gets their monthly period. If you will recall from my previous posts, I want my period to end since I've been having problems with it. But now that Dr. K said it will actually help with my hormonal therapy, I can't wait to get it back!!! (This might be too much info to my male friends! hee hee) Another thing is Dr. K also said that this therapy may affect my ovaries. If so, he will recommend that my ovaries be removed. I have no problems with that.
The biggest side effect of Tamoxifen is having hot flashes. I told him I'm already getting it because of the chemo. Dr. K said the hot flashes will get worse with Tamoxifen. Great.
Dr. K did not recommend any further testing to determine if cancer has spread to my body. He said a CAT scan or any type of test may be inconclusive and give false results. I guess it will be a wait and see game. But for now I am cancer free. :) I will still take this one day at a time.
Dr. K did order a mammogram only, not an ultrasound. After the misdiagnosis of my mammo last year, Mark and I questioned Dr. K why not get an ultrasound too. Dr. K said that if the mammo will be inconclusive, only then will he order an ultrasound. A mammo has been scheduled for July 13th and I'll meet with Dr. K to discuss the mammo findings on July 28th.
I will worry about that later. My fight against cancer is not over yet but for now it is time for a happy dance! Woohoo!!!!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Why Mommy?
While having dinner tonight Jason asked me why I'm not back at work. In his eyes, I do not look sick and was wondering when am I going back to work. I explained to him that although I may look well, I'm still weak and my body has not fully recovered from chemo. I also told him that I go to the hospital everyday to receive radiation therapy. Jason said "but you are not sick and don't sleep the whole day like you did before" (he was referring to my chemo days). I said the worst part of my treatment is over and that radiation is not as bad as chemo. Jason wanted to know when I will be well enough to go to work. It felt like no matter what I said, he was still confused. I think out of frustration, he stopped asking.
How do you explain to a 9 year old boy what my current situation when I don't even know what the answer is? I do not know if the chemo worked. I do not know how effective the radiation is. I do not know when my doctors will give me a clean bill of health.
How do you explain to a 9 year old boy what my current situation when I don't even know what the answer is? I do not know if the chemo worked. I do not know how effective the radiation is. I do not know when my doctors will give me a clean bill of health.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Check.... 1..2..3...
Well, well, well... I guess it can now be said that my hair is starting to grow. Woohoo!!!! :D
I check my head for any signs of hair growth every single day since my last chemo. They are slowly but surely coming out. One, two, three and many more!!! Every time I see a new growth I do a little happy dance to celebrate its arrival.
This may sound absurd to some of you but it isn't for me. Getting my hair back feels like some form of normalcy to me, something that I haven't had since my chemo started. Maybe that's why I have been feeling good about myself lately.
The ones coming out are very thin and are about half an inch long. I saw one very straight white hair (gulp!), sticking out like a sore thumb. The others are black, thin and growing above my ears. So will I have salt and pepper hair?!?!?! Who cares as long as I have my hair back.
I did something this week which I haven't done since I lost my hair. I went out of our house with just a headcover. I did some gardening. It felt uncomfortable but a bit liberating. I still cannot go to malls, drive or do errands with only a headcover. I get self-conscious and do not want other people to stare at me, so I wear the wig.
As much as I love my wig, it is starting to be a nuisance. Summer is just around the corner and my head feels like an oven on hot humid days. Lately I've been sleeping without any sleeping cap on. Aside from the hot weather which we get at times at night, I get hot flashes too. It is uncomfortable. So I can't wait til my old crowning glory returns.
I am still bald but I'm loving what I see on my head, up close. Almost everyone is asking me if I have more hair. I guess not, for now. Our kids want to know if I will have a full set of hair by the end of June. At the rate it is growing, I don't think so. By the end of July? Maybe? Only time will tell. Like I said earlier I check it everyday, be it one growth or two, I'm happy. I will let you know for sure when they're back for good.
I check my head for any signs of hair growth every single day since my last chemo. They are slowly but surely coming out. One, two, three and many more!!! Every time I see a new growth I do a little happy dance to celebrate its arrival.
This may sound absurd to some of you but it isn't for me. Getting my hair back feels like some form of normalcy to me, something that I haven't had since my chemo started. Maybe that's why I have been feeling good about myself lately.
The ones coming out are very thin and are about half an inch long. I saw one very straight white hair (gulp!), sticking out like a sore thumb. The others are black, thin and growing above my ears. So will I have salt and pepper hair?!?!?! Who cares as long as I have my hair back.
I did something this week which I haven't done since I lost my hair. I went out of our house with just a headcover. I did some gardening. It felt uncomfortable but a bit liberating. I still cannot go to malls, drive or do errands with only a headcover. I get self-conscious and do not want other people to stare at me, so I wear the wig.
As much as I love my wig, it is starting to be a nuisance. Summer is just around the corner and my head feels like an oven on hot humid days. Lately I've been sleeping without any sleeping cap on. Aside from the hot weather which we get at times at night, I get hot flashes too. It is uncomfortable. So I can't wait til my old crowning glory returns.
I am still bald but I'm loving what I see on my head, up close. Almost everyone is asking me if I have more hair. I guess not, for now. Our kids want to know if I will have a full set of hair by the end of June. At the rate it is growing, I don't think so. By the end of July? Maybe? Only time will tell. Like I said earlier I check it everyday, be it one growth or two, I'm happy. I will let you know for sure when they're back for good.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
My Daily Radiation Treatment Routine
My radiation therapy is going well so far. It is now Day 8 out of 20 or 21 treatments. The actual treatment time lasts between 3 to 8 minutes. The longer I get it, the easier it is, I think. The radiation technicians told me people receiving radiation tends to relax as the days go by.
On average I am in and out of the hospital 15 minutes tops. Once I arrive at the hospital I check in at the Radiation Clinic and the receptionist nurse already know who I am by now. This afternoon I didn't even say anything and the nurse said, "I've signed you in Stephanie".
A hospital volunteer will then verify my appointment time and a bit of pep talk, give me two hospital gowns and takes me to the radiation treatment (RT) waiting area. I am usually assigned to RT Unit Number 3 (RT3) where all the "Star Trek-y" machines are. Every Wednesday the volunteer provides my schedule for the following week.
Two Radiation Technicians assists and welcomes me in the unit everyday. They're all nice but I do not recall most of their names since they do rotations. Once in RT3, I lie down, they mark my tattoos, position me until they're satisfied and then treatment starts. Like I said before during each treatment I pray and before I know it, it is all over.
Every Tuesday after the radiation, I get to see Dr. W (or whoever is on call) to check on the progess of my treatment. This week Dr. W said everything's A-OK and my skin looks really good.
Yesterday, they did something new. The technicians wanted to take measurements and use a new equipment that will help them in the latter part of my treatment. The treatment currently covers the whole right breast. For the last four treatments, radiation will focus only where the tumor was located using the incision from the surgery as their guide. This is where the cone-shaped equipment comes in. It is supposed to be placed less than an inch from my breast, almost touching it. They've been trying to do it since yesterday and they can't quite get it yet. We are doing it again tomorrow. One of the technicians said precision is key and they wanted to be a 100% precise. Fine by me.
Driving to and from the hospital takes longer than my treatments but that was expected. A couple of times all the radiation machines were down and that meant longer waiting times. They told us this happens once in a blue moon. It has happened twice in two weeks since I started. Oh well. At least my treatments are on schedule.
So that's how it is for me everyday for the whole month of June. Boring isn't it?
On average I am in and out of the hospital 15 minutes tops. Once I arrive at the hospital I check in at the Radiation Clinic and the receptionist nurse already know who I am by now. This afternoon I didn't even say anything and the nurse said, "I've signed you in Stephanie".
A hospital volunteer will then verify my appointment time and a bit of pep talk, give me two hospital gowns and takes me to the radiation treatment (RT) waiting area. I am usually assigned to RT Unit Number 3 (RT3) where all the "Star Trek-y" machines are. Every Wednesday the volunteer provides my schedule for the following week.
Two Radiation Technicians assists and welcomes me in the unit everyday. They're all nice but I do not recall most of their names since they do rotations. Once in RT3, I lie down, they mark my tattoos, position me until they're satisfied and then treatment starts. Like I said before during each treatment I pray and before I know it, it is all over.
Every Tuesday after the radiation, I get to see Dr. W (or whoever is on call) to check on the progess of my treatment. This week Dr. W said everything's A-OK and my skin looks really good.
Yesterday, they did something new. The technicians wanted to take measurements and use a new equipment that will help them in the latter part of my treatment. The treatment currently covers the whole right breast. For the last four treatments, radiation will focus only where the tumor was located using the incision from the surgery as their guide. This is where the cone-shaped equipment comes in. It is supposed to be placed less than an inch from my breast, almost touching it. They've been trying to do it since yesterday and they can't quite get it yet. We are doing it again tomorrow. One of the technicians said precision is key and they wanted to be a 100% precise. Fine by me.
Driving to and from the hospital takes longer than my treatments but that was expected. A couple of times all the radiation machines were down and that meant longer waiting times. They told us this happens once in a blue moon. It has happened twice in two weeks since I started. Oh well. At least my treatments are on schedule.
So that's how it is for me everyday for the whole month of June. Boring isn't it?
Monday, June 8, 2009
A Test
Let's see if you can figure this out. I'll give you a few minutes to think about it. No cheating ;)
What is the letter in the alphabet which comes before the letter coming after the fourth consonant in the word "metamorphosis"?
....
....
....
....
....
....
Let's see if you answered correctly:
Was your answer the letter "R"?
....
....
Then your answer is wrong.
Was your answer the letter "P"?
....
....
Then your answer is wrong.
Was your answer the letter "O"?
....
....
Then your answer is CORRECT!!! :)
Reasons:
The consonants in the word metamorphosis are: M, T, M, R
The letter after the fourth consonant is: P
The letter in the alphabet which comes before the letter after the fourth consonant is "O".
Did you get it right? This was a test or an exercise given to us at the brain fog workshop I'm attending. Thanks to Heather, our teacher and who specializes in cognitive rehabilitation, for letting me share this test with you.
So what do you think about the test? Was it too easy for you? Did you find the question confusing or a brain twister? If you were confused or had a hard time figuring out the question, then this will give you a pretty good idea what it feels like to have chemo brain or brain fog. The question above is quite simple but how it was worded and phrased made it tricky to an average person, moreso to cancer patients. This is what most cancer patients or survivors "suffer" or "experience" almost on a regular basis when we are on, or have finished, chemotherapy, and that is chemo brain or brain fog.
A simple task can be confusing, daunting or overwhelming at times for cancer patients (during or after treatment) or for cancer survivors. Sometimes we have to take a step back, think, re-think, consider, re-consider tasks, words or facts/figures post upon us or stuff we have to say or do. It could be writing a simple email where you thought you typed in the word but when you read the email again, the word(s) is(are) not there. Or trying to come up with a simple word in a regular conversation that for the life of you can't figure out what that word is at that moment.
It can be frustrating, annoying, depressing and sometimes you don't feel like your old self. You feel inadequate, useless and sometimes dumb. But this brain fog is one of the side effects of chemo. It has not been medically proven that it is linked or caused by chemotherapy but a lot of cancer patients experience brain fog or temporary memory loss.
But there is hope, the workshop I signed up for said that it will last 2-5 years and with a lot of work, patience and improving your memory skills, our brain will be back to normal. :) What a relief!
Anyway, I just wanted to share this test so that you will know what I'm going through right now. I hope it is an eye opener. I hope that you will be more understanding when the time comes I talk to you and I'm at a loss for words. I hope you will understand when I send you an email or a comment and it is out of context and doesn't make sense.
(PS - I was the only one in our class who had the correct answer. I was quite proud of myself!)
What is the letter in the alphabet which comes before the letter coming after the fourth consonant in the word "metamorphosis"?
....
....
....
....
....
....
Let's see if you answered correctly:
Was your answer the letter "R"?
....
....
Then your answer is wrong.
Was your answer the letter "P"?
....
....
Then your answer is wrong.
Was your answer the letter "O"?
....
....
Then your answer is CORRECT!!! :)
Reasons:
The consonants in the word metamorphosis are: M, T, M, R
The letter after the fourth consonant is: P
The letter in the alphabet which comes before the letter after the fourth consonant is "O".
Did you get it right? This was a test or an exercise given to us at the brain fog workshop I'm attending. Thanks to Heather, our teacher and who specializes in cognitive rehabilitation, for letting me share this test with you.
So what do you think about the test? Was it too easy for you? Did you find the question confusing or a brain twister? If you were confused or had a hard time figuring out the question, then this will give you a pretty good idea what it feels like to have chemo brain or brain fog. The question above is quite simple but how it was worded and phrased made it tricky to an average person, moreso to cancer patients. This is what most cancer patients or survivors "suffer" or "experience" almost on a regular basis when we are on, or have finished, chemotherapy, and that is chemo brain or brain fog.
A simple task can be confusing, daunting or overwhelming at times for cancer patients (during or after treatment) or for cancer survivors. Sometimes we have to take a step back, think, re-think, consider, re-consider tasks, words or facts/figures post upon us or stuff we have to say or do. It could be writing a simple email where you thought you typed in the word but when you read the email again, the word(s) is(are) not there. Or trying to come up with a simple word in a regular conversation that for the life of you can't figure out what that word is at that moment.
It can be frustrating, annoying, depressing and sometimes you don't feel like your old self. You feel inadequate, useless and sometimes dumb. But this brain fog is one of the side effects of chemo. It has not been medically proven that it is linked or caused by chemotherapy but a lot of cancer patients experience brain fog or temporary memory loss.
But there is hope, the workshop I signed up for said that it will last 2-5 years and with a lot of work, patience and improving your memory skills, our brain will be back to normal. :) What a relief!
Anyway, I just wanted to share this test so that you will know what I'm going through right now. I hope it is an eye opener. I hope that you will be more understanding when the time comes I talk to you and I'm at a loss for words. I hope you will understand when I send you an email or a comment and it is out of context and doesn't make sense.
(PS - I was the only one in our class who had the correct answer. I was quite proud of myself!)
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Beam me up, Scottie!
So it finally happened, after calling the hospital, they were able to squeeze me in this afternoon, I had my first radiation treatment at 3:30! :)
I must admit it felt like I had butterflies in my tummy on the way to the hospital and was a bit nervous. Quite different from the relaxed state I was in this morning.
The radiation technician called me and they asked me to change first and was brought to Unit #3 at the Radiation Clinic. When I entered the room, it looked very modern and very high tech. Music was playing in the background. The radiation beam looked like one end of a telephone or like the big circle in a flashlight.
Two radiation technicians were in the room. They asked me to lie down on the machine. It looked very cold. A green laser-like light was over me and was used to help me position properly. One checked the tattoos I had and yelled measurements to the other who validated the figures in their computer and kept saying "perfect". They also explained to me what will happen, what machines will be moving and to yell or stop the treatment if I needed anything. After the measurement and positioning were done (approximately 5-10 minutes), the radiation treatment started.
I almost said, "beam me up Scottie!" or at least that's what it felt like. It was a bit daunting because the radiation machines were moving and right over my face. I closed my eyes, prayed and before I knew it, it was over. It took less than 10 minutes and it was painless. It was like having a chest x-ray and the only difference is I was lying down.
I didn't feel anything right after the treatment. I was told the side effects will kick in after two weeks of treatment. What was a bit unsual was I felt a little nauseous on our way home. I opened the car windows and chewed a gum and the slight nausea disappeared.
One radiation down, 19 more to go.
I must admit it felt like I had butterflies in my tummy on the way to the hospital and was a bit nervous. Quite different from the relaxed state I was in this morning.
The radiation technician called me and they asked me to change first and was brought to Unit #3 at the Radiation Clinic. When I entered the room, it looked very modern and very high tech. Music was playing in the background. The radiation beam looked like one end of a telephone or like the big circle in a flashlight.
Two radiation technicians were in the room. They asked me to lie down on the machine. It looked very cold. A green laser-like light was over me and was used to help me position properly. One checked the tattoos I had and yelled measurements to the other who validated the figures in their computer and kept saying "perfect". They also explained to me what will happen, what machines will be moving and to yell or stop the treatment if I needed anything. After the measurement and positioning were done (approximately 5-10 minutes), the radiation treatment started.
I almost said, "beam me up Scottie!" or at least that's what it felt like. It was a bit daunting because the radiation machines were moving and right over my face. I closed my eyes, prayed and before I knew it, it was over. It took less than 10 minutes and it was painless. It was like having a chest x-ray and the only difference is I was lying down.
I didn't feel anything right after the treatment. I was told the side effects will kick in after two weeks of treatment. What was a bit unsual was I felt a little nauseous on our way home. I opened the car windows and chewed a gum and the slight nausea disappeared.
One radiation down, 19 more to go.
What a Bummer!
Radiation Day! Traffic was good and we arrived at the hospital 10 minutes before 9:00 a.m. Mark said I didn't even look nervous. I wasn't. I was actually looking forward to it.
While waiting for them to call me, I heard a volunteer said all radiation machines are broken. Every single one at the hospital. What are the odds that could happen? I was hoping she was wrong.
We waited until we met a radiation technician named Dennis to give us a quick radiation education. I had a few questions and that education session ended in like 5-10 minutes. Then we were told to go back to reception and wait. About 15 minutes later, my radiation technician approached me and said all their machines were broken and do not know when it will be up and running again. The network was down. Either we wait until it is fixed; call back this afternoon just in case it does get fixed; or, go back tomorrow. What?!?!?!
I psyched myself it will happen today. My first radiation. I guess some things are beyond our control but what a bummer! I'll try to call the hospital after lunch and hopefully book an appointment this afternoon. It's like prolonging the agony. I just want it over and done with.
While waiting for them to call me, I heard a volunteer said all radiation machines are broken. Every single one at the hospital. What are the odds that could happen? I was hoping she was wrong.
We waited until we met a radiation technician named Dennis to give us a quick radiation education. I had a few questions and that education session ended in like 5-10 minutes. Then we were told to go back to reception and wait. About 15 minutes later, my radiation technician approached me and said all their machines were broken and do not know when it will be up and running again. The network was down. Either we wait until it is fixed; call back this afternoon just in case it does get fixed; or, go back tomorrow. What?!?!?!
I psyched myself it will happen today. My first radiation. I guess some things are beyond our control but what a bummer! I'll try to call the hospital after lunch and hopefully book an appointment this afternoon. It's like prolonging the agony. I just want it over and done with.
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Home Stretch
Well folks, tomorrow is THE day that I start my radiation, almost at the home stretch of my treatments. :) It will be the start of my daily treatments (Mondays to Fridays) for four straight weeks. My first one will be tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. Twenty (or 21) treatments in all.
I'm going to face this challenge with an open mind. I'm relaxed and not as scared as I was with chemo. Like with all treatments, each person might react differently to radiation. Some said they were completely fine with it and got to carry on with their lives. Others said fatigue was too much. So we will see how it will "hit me".
Honestly, I am still feeling some side effects from my last chemo. My calves are still achy and swollen. Half of my fingernails/toenails are discoloured. And I still get very tired easily. I can't wait until the chemo is completely out of my system.
I am still praying that the cancer has not spread to any parts of my body. No tests have been done yet if chemo did its job of getting rid of the cancer or not. I don't know when will it be. Hopefully Dr. K will shed some light on this when we see him on June 18th.
I'm going to face this challenge with an open mind. I'm relaxed and not as scared as I was with chemo. Like with all treatments, each person might react differently to radiation. Some said they were completely fine with it and got to carry on with their lives. Others said fatigue was too much. So we will see how it will "hit me".
Honestly, I am still feeling some side effects from my last chemo. My calves are still achy and swollen. Half of my fingernails/toenails are discoloured. And I still get very tired easily. I can't wait until the chemo is completely out of my system.
I am still praying that the cancer has not spread to any parts of my body. No tests have been done yet if chemo did its job of getting rid of the cancer or not. I don't know when will it be. Hopefully Dr. K will shed some light on this when we see him on June 18th.
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