I received a few emails and phone calls today from family and friends asking for an update since Saturday's incident. I'm happy to let everyone know I'm feeling better.
The new antibiotic is working. That plus the overnight stay at the hospital helped me beat the fever and whatever infection I had. The aches and pains are gone. If it comes back, the oncologist gave me a thumbs up to take percocet. :)
I decided to take it easy today and stayed at home to avoid a relapse. I slept like a log last night and that made up for the sleep deprivation I had over the weekend. I was able to book an appointment for the abdomen ultrasound next Monday, hopefully the results will be normal.
I appreciate all the concerns and rest assured I'm feeling much better. :)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Trip to the E.R.... Twice in One Night
The aches and pains left with me a big bang. I was rushed to the emergency room, TWICE in once night.
I haven't been well at all but forced myself to get out of the house yesterday. Since it was such a gorgeous day yesterday, I decided to do a couple of errands and took my Mom to the mall. But even at the mall the body ache persisted and I couldn't stand for a long time. I had to sit at the mall benches to relieve the pain. I told my Mom I wasn't feeling well so we went home.
As soon as we got home, I went straight to the bedroom. The smell of food made me nauseous. Dinner time came and I had no appetite. I had one sip of soup and I suddenly had chills. I went back to the bedroom and was shaking from the chills. I dozed off for a few minutes and when I woke up I knew I developed a fever. True enough my temperature was 38.7 C, after 15 minutes I took it again, it was 38.8 C. I called the ER, told them what happened and I was told to go the hospital as soon as possible because it was right after my chemo (March 23rd).
Anyway, we finally arrived at the hospital around 7:45 p.m. It was my first time ever to be personally admitted to the emergency room. The scene wasn't even close to what we see in the TV shows like ER or Grey's Anatomy, no George Clooney or Noah Wyle look-a-likes, no McDreamy or McSteamy, it looks like a sad place where people look so sick, groaning, or bored out of their minds because of the long waiting hours at emergency rooms.
I was admitted within 10-15 minutes. I was given a letter by the oncology team to process the admission of cancer patients right away if needed. (Hospital staff expedite the process if you're an oncology patient to avoid catching infection from other patients in the ER.) They gave me a mask to prevent infection. My temp was 39.1 by the time they processed my papers. I was so nervous and I wasn't even surprised my blood pressure reading was high. The doctor even asked me why my breathing was abnormal. Ah... because I'm in the ER and I'm as nervous as hell?!?!?!?! Duh!
Dr. Ch told me to relax, explained what will happen and requested a series of tests to ensure everything is ok: blood, urine, chest x-ray. We waited over an hour to get most of the results, the best news was that my white blood count was normal. I was relieved! Dr. Ch thought that I might have caught an infection somewhere. After waiting another hour, it was time to do the x-ray. I was wheeled out of the ER on a hospital bed and it brought back memories when I was brought to the operating room for my lumpectomy. It really felt weird. At least this time I only had the x-ray and the results were normal. Before I was discharged, Dr. Ch gave us a pep talk what to expect the next few days such as getting the results of my urine and blood chemistry tests and to contact the oncology clinic that I was admitted in the ER. Dr. Ch gave me an antibiotic called Moxifloxacin plus a prescription for the next few days.
Not even 30 minutes since we arrived from the hospital, my forehead felt itchy. It didn't bother me at first I thought it was an insect bite. Then my left leg felt itchy, next my face, I looked at the mirror and I developed hives. What the heck?!?!?! I called the ER and told them what happened. They told me go back to the hospital again. Two trips to the ER in one night! I could not believe it.
As soon as we entered the ER the nurses who admitted stared in disbelief I was back. So I told them I developed hives from the antibiotics prescribed to me. They checked me in right away and had to do exactly what we did the first time I was admitted. We didn't wait long before going to urgent care. Dr. Ch was still on call, he checked my symptoms and ordered that I take Benadryl. He left us for about an hour for any other reactions. When Dr. Ch came back he said he had good news and bad news. The good news was the hives started to disappear. Dr. Ch explained to us that it is rare to develop hives from the medicine but I did. The moxifloxacin covered a whole range of effective antibiotics but was concerned that these meds might also give me allergic reactions. The bad news was they have to give me another type of antibiotics through an IV and that I have to stay in the hospital for a day or two for observations. Bummer! I was expecting to go home and sleep in my own bed.
After midnight Dr. O was the doctor on call. He did a much thorough check-up than Dr. Ch and ordered additional blood/urine tests. Let's just say that if I hated needles before, now I loathe them to the nth degree! They couldn't use my right arm because that's where my surgery was, so my left arm took a real beating from the series of tests. It's like the game "connect the dots", mine can be called "connect the bruises". They took so many blood samples that I've lost count how many needle pricks were done on my left arm and they were painful!!! Other tests were done, they took swab samples of my throat, my nostrils and another place I don't want to mention. They were so uncomfortable but they did it so fast I didn't have time to complain. All these tests were done because they want to make sure all the bases were covered and didn't cause any harmful effects on me.
At 4:20 a.m. they wheeled me to the oncology in-patient unit and was given a private room complete with a shower and an awesome hospital bed (the only thing I will miss during this ordeal). I am sleep deprived because almost every 30 minutes to an hour a nurse came over, tortured me with more blood samples or some other type of tests. Around 10:30, Dr. S popped by, he was the oncologist on call. He said he was glad my white blood count is normal and almost all results are normal. Dr. S said the overnight stay at the hospital will not delay my chemo treatments. But Dr. S told me my potassium count is quite high and wants to do another blood test!!!!! Gosh another one! He told me he was ready to discharge me but if the potassium results will be high again, I might have to stay for another night. Gulp! Dr. S also told me the liver enzymes/count results was a bit abnormal and he will request a liver ultrasound. Dr. S assured me this is quite normal for people getting old (yeah, thanks!) and just wants to make sure my liver is healthy. I will book an appointment at the hospital this week for the liver ultrasound.
Mark and the kids came over to visit me. While they were having lunch the nurse told me my potassium level is normal and I'm free to go home. Finally! Dr. S prescribed a new antibiotic, I just took one 20 minutes ago and so far no allergic reactions. I hope not.
I do not want to go back to the ER again (keeping my fingers crossed). Josh said the same thing to Mark during their lunch, "I hope Mommy will never go back to the hospital again!" I am hoping the same thing.
Thanks to my loving, supportive husband for taking me to the ER.
I haven't been well at all but forced myself to get out of the house yesterday. Since it was such a gorgeous day yesterday, I decided to do a couple of errands and took my Mom to the mall. But even at the mall the body ache persisted and I couldn't stand for a long time. I had to sit at the mall benches to relieve the pain. I told my Mom I wasn't feeling well so we went home.
As soon as we got home, I went straight to the bedroom. The smell of food made me nauseous. Dinner time came and I had no appetite. I had one sip of soup and I suddenly had chills. I went back to the bedroom and was shaking from the chills. I dozed off for a few minutes and when I woke up I knew I developed a fever. True enough my temperature was 38.7 C, after 15 minutes I took it again, it was 38.8 C. I called the ER, told them what happened and I was told to go the hospital as soon as possible because it was right after my chemo (March 23rd).
Anyway, we finally arrived at the hospital around 7:45 p.m. It was my first time ever to be personally admitted to the emergency room. The scene wasn't even close to what we see in the TV shows like ER or Grey's Anatomy, no George Clooney or Noah Wyle look-a-likes, no McDreamy or McSteamy, it looks like a sad place where people look so sick, groaning, or bored out of their minds because of the long waiting hours at emergency rooms.
I was admitted within 10-15 minutes. I was given a letter by the oncology team to process the admission of cancer patients right away if needed. (Hospital staff expedite the process if you're an oncology patient to avoid catching infection from other patients in the ER.) They gave me a mask to prevent infection. My temp was 39.1 by the time they processed my papers. I was so nervous and I wasn't even surprised my blood pressure reading was high. The doctor even asked me why my breathing was abnormal. Ah... because I'm in the ER and I'm as nervous as hell?!?!?!?! Duh!
Dr. Ch told me to relax, explained what will happen and requested a series of tests to ensure everything is ok: blood, urine, chest x-ray. We waited over an hour to get most of the results, the best news was that my white blood count was normal. I was relieved! Dr. Ch thought that I might have caught an infection somewhere. After waiting another hour, it was time to do the x-ray. I was wheeled out of the ER on a hospital bed and it brought back memories when I was brought to the operating room for my lumpectomy. It really felt weird. At least this time I only had the x-ray and the results were normal. Before I was discharged, Dr. Ch gave us a pep talk what to expect the next few days such as getting the results of my urine and blood chemistry tests and to contact the oncology clinic that I was admitted in the ER. Dr. Ch gave me an antibiotic called Moxifloxacin plus a prescription for the next few days.
Not even 30 minutes since we arrived from the hospital, my forehead felt itchy. It didn't bother me at first I thought it was an insect bite. Then my left leg felt itchy, next my face, I looked at the mirror and I developed hives. What the heck?!?!?! I called the ER and told them what happened. They told me go back to the hospital again. Two trips to the ER in one night! I could not believe it.
As soon as we entered the ER the nurses who admitted stared in disbelief I was back. So I told them I developed hives from the antibiotics prescribed to me. They checked me in right away and had to do exactly what we did the first time I was admitted. We didn't wait long before going to urgent care. Dr. Ch was still on call, he checked my symptoms and ordered that I take Benadryl. He left us for about an hour for any other reactions. When Dr. Ch came back he said he had good news and bad news. The good news was the hives started to disappear. Dr. Ch explained to us that it is rare to develop hives from the medicine but I did. The moxifloxacin covered a whole range of effective antibiotics but was concerned that these meds might also give me allergic reactions. The bad news was they have to give me another type of antibiotics through an IV and that I have to stay in the hospital for a day or two for observations. Bummer! I was expecting to go home and sleep in my own bed.
After midnight Dr. O was the doctor on call. He did a much thorough check-up than Dr. Ch and ordered additional blood/urine tests. Let's just say that if I hated needles before, now I loathe them to the nth degree! They couldn't use my right arm because that's where my surgery was, so my left arm took a real beating from the series of tests. It's like the game "connect the dots", mine can be called "connect the bruises". They took so many blood samples that I've lost count how many needle pricks were done on my left arm and they were painful!!! Other tests were done, they took swab samples of my throat, my nostrils and another place I don't want to mention. They were so uncomfortable but they did it so fast I didn't have time to complain. All these tests were done because they want to make sure all the bases were covered and didn't cause any harmful effects on me.
At 4:20 a.m. they wheeled me to the oncology in-patient unit and was given a private room complete with a shower and an awesome hospital bed (the only thing I will miss during this ordeal). I am sleep deprived because almost every 30 minutes to an hour a nurse came over, tortured me with more blood samples or some other type of tests. Around 10:30, Dr. S popped by, he was the oncologist on call. He said he was glad my white blood count is normal and almost all results are normal. Dr. S said the overnight stay at the hospital will not delay my chemo treatments. But Dr. S told me my potassium count is quite high and wants to do another blood test!!!!! Gosh another one! He told me he was ready to discharge me but if the potassium results will be high again, I might have to stay for another night. Gulp! Dr. S also told me the liver enzymes/count results was a bit abnormal and he will request a liver ultrasound. Dr. S assured me this is quite normal for people getting old (yeah, thanks!) and just wants to make sure my liver is healthy. I will book an appointment at the hospital this week for the liver ultrasound.
Mark and the kids came over to visit me. While they were having lunch the nurse told me my potassium level is normal and I'm free to go home. Finally! Dr. S prescribed a new antibiotic, I just took one 20 minutes ago and so far no allergic reactions. I hope not.
I do not want to go back to the ER again (keeping my fingers crossed). Josh said the same thing to Mark during their lunch, "I hope Mommy will never go back to the hospital again!" I am hoping the same thing.
Thanks to my loving, supportive husband for taking me to the ER.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
More Aches and Pains
Well this body ache/joint pain hit me like a ton of bricks. I've had it since Wednesday night. It's Saturday and I can still feel it. It is driving me nuts.
I'm not sure which one is better, the nausea/vomit/metal taste/fatigue or the aches and pains I'm experiencing right now. None of them is "fun" but which one is lesser "evil". By far Thursday was the worst, I could not even walk straight. I had hot flushes, chills, headache and a whole lot more.
Last night gave me a bit of a scare. I woke up, checked my temperature and it was 38.6 C. That was around 6:10 p.m. I panicked! Oh no! I have to go to the hospital. I psyched myself that I will so I took a shower (a must for me if I have to leave the house!) and got myself ready if in case I needed to. I checked my temperature again after half an hour and it went down to 37.8 (whew!) and again around 7:20 p.m. it was 38.4 C. I didn't know what to do. I checked a few times within the next couple of hours and my temperature was at an average of 37.5. Thank goodness I didn't have to go to the hospital.
I remember feeling really sick with a sore throat and chills when I had the 38.6 temp but I cannot remember if I was sleeping on my right side, woke up and did the temp on the same side. I hope it was. But this is the highest temp I've had since I started chemo. Having a fever can be fatal. It was a stressful night.
And today, being a Saturday with a beautiful weather forecast, I still have minor aches and pains but not as bad as the last couple of days. I hope I feel better today because quite honestly I'm bored out of my mind and my back hurts from lying down all the time.
I'm not sure which one is better, the nausea/vomit/metal taste/fatigue or the aches and pains I'm experiencing right now. None of them is "fun" but which one is lesser "evil". By far Thursday was the worst, I could not even walk straight. I had hot flushes, chills, headache and a whole lot more.
Last night gave me a bit of a scare. I woke up, checked my temperature and it was 38.6 C. That was around 6:10 p.m. I panicked! Oh no! I have to go to the hospital. I psyched myself that I will so I took a shower (a must for me if I have to leave the house!) and got myself ready if in case I needed to. I checked my temperature again after half an hour and it went down to 37.8 (whew!) and again around 7:20 p.m. it was 38.4 C. I didn't know what to do. I checked a few times within the next couple of hours and my temperature was at an average of 37.5. Thank goodness I didn't have to go to the hospital.
I remember feeling really sick with a sore throat and chills when I had the 38.6 temp but I cannot remember if I was sleeping on my right side, woke up and did the temp on the same side. I hope it was. But this is the highest temp I've had since I started chemo. Having a fever can be fatal. It was a stressful night.
And today, being a Saturday with a beautiful weather forecast, I still have minor aches and pains but not as bad as the last couple of days. I hope I feel better today because quite honestly I'm bored out of my mind and my back hurts from lying down all the time.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Aches and Pains
I think I spoke too soon last night how wonderful this new chemo drug is. I had good days since Monday but that changed today. I woke up feeling good but before noon my body felt tired and weak. The pain is from waist down. I don't know if it was from my workout yesterday afternoon or from the chemo/Neulasta. Taxotere's (chemo med) and Neulasta's biggest side effect is body/joint pain and boy am I feeling them right now.
I decided to take a rest before noon and had a nap. I think that helped a little bit because I was able to do some errands after I woke up and was also able to cook dinner. But I'm feeling the pain again. My taste buds feels weird too. Gosh I hope it is not that awful metal taste again. I hate that feeling. My appetite is still normal.
I'm just tired. The nurses and doctors told me to listen to what my body is telling me and I think it is telling me to slow down. I think I will. I also have to take the medications to ease the pain. Hopefully these aches and pains will be gone tomorrow.
I decided to take a rest before noon and had a nap. I think that helped a little bit because I was able to do some errands after I woke up and was also able to cook dinner. But I'm feeling the pain again. My taste buds feels weird too. Gosh I hope it is not that awful metal taste again. I hate that feeling. My appetite is still normal.
I'm just tired. The nurses and doctors told me to listen to what my body is telling me and I think it is telling me to slow down. I think I will. I also have to take the medications to ease the pain. Hopefully these aches and pains will be gone tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A Good Day (again!)
I had another good day today. I wish that it's been like this since the beginning of my chemo. For today, I did not experience nausea, vomit, the metal taste in my mouth nor any headache. Amazing!
I took advantage of this good day by doing minor household chores, went to Wellspring for the cancer exercise program (great workout by the way), went to the grocery and was even able to cook dinner. It's an awesome feeling and to think my chemo was only yesterday. I think I'm starting to like this Taxotere meds, better than the FEC (the first phase). ;) But it is too early to tell. We'll see how it goes.
The workout at Wellspring was fantastic! The instructors were great and friendly too. I can feel my thighs and arms starting to get sore. Cool! That means it's effective. I actually look forward to these exercises every week because it makes me feel good. Since today's a good day for me, I didn't want to miss my exercise class. I'm glad I went.
One great tip they gave me last week was that I had to walk and exercise prior to chemo, to release the toxins (I think) from my body and to help with the chemo. I guess they know what they're talking about because I do feel good. I'll follow this rule with the remaining two chemo treatments (can you imagine only two more left?!?!?!?! woohoo!).
Each time I go to the class they ask me how I feel before and after each program. I told them that the program helps me feel good and I enjoy it a lot. Every time I finish a workout, I really feel great. So if you know a cancer patient or survivor who wants to try out the Wellspring cancer exercise program, I highly recommend it. I'm hoping they'll extend my 10-week program coz I'm loving it.
Well I have to take it easy now, don't want to exert myself too much because I might pay for it later this week. After dinner, I plan to just chill and watch TV after all I did a lot today. :)
I took advantage of this good day by doing minor household chores, went to Wellspring for the cancer exercise program (great workout by the way), went to the grocery and was even able to cook dinner. It's an awesome feeling and to think my chemo was only yesterday. I think I'm starting to like this Taxotere meds, better than the FEC (the first phase). ;) But it is too early to tell. We'll see how it goes.
The workout at Wellspring was fantastic! The instructors were great and friendly too. I can feel my thighs and arms starting to get sore. Cool! That means it's effective. I actually look forward to these exercises every week because it makes me feel good. Since today's a good day for me, I didn't want to miss my exercise class. I'm glad I went.
One great tip they gave me last week was that I had to walk and exercise prior to chemo, to release the toxins (I think) from my body and to help with the chemo. I guess they know what they're talking about because I do feel good. I'll follow this rule with the remaining two chemo treatments (can you imagine only two more left?!?!?!?! woohoo!).
Each time I go to the class they ask me how I feel before and after each program. I told them that the program helps me feel good and I enjoy it a lot. Every time I finish a workout, I really feel great. So if you know a cancer patient or survivor who wants to try out the Wellspring cancer exercise program, I highly recommend it. I'm hoping they'll extend my 10-week program coz I'm loving it.
Well I have to take it easy now, don't want to exert myself too much because I might pay for it later this week. After dinner, I plan to just chill and watch TV after all I did a lot today. :)
Monday, March 23, 2009
Wow!
Well, well, well this must be another record since chemo started. I can't believe I'm feeling good after my chemo this morning. I had dinner with the family with regular appetite, did not throw up, no nausea and no bone pain YET. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I'm surprised how I feel right now, in a good way. :)
I did take a nap this afternoon because I had a rough night last night. I woke up around 3:00 a.m. and was not able to fall back to sleep. I do feel a bit chilly right now but other than that I think I'm ok. I even have the energy to do a blog entry.
Another bonus, no metal taste in my mouth. I hope it stays that way.
It looks promising and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I did take a nap this afternoon because I had a rough night last night. I woke up around 3:00 a.m. and was not able to fall back to sleep. I do feel a bit chilly right now but other than that I think I'm ok. I even have the energy to do a blog entry.
Another bonus, no metal taste in my mouth. I hope it stays that way.
It looks promising and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Four Down, Two to Go
Yup, four down, two more chemos to go. Today's the start of the second phase of my chemo.
Last night I took 2 pills of dexamathasone, a prerequisite for the second phase. This morning, I had to take two additional pills of dexamathasone, 1 pill of anzemet, and another pill for anti-nausea. If I forgot to take these medications the doctor will postpone my chemo. But I didn't so I had the chemo this morning shortly after 9:00 a.m.
I was given the usual saline, dexamathasone, and another anti-nausea medication. Taxotere was also given to me, a new chemo med that I have to endure during the second phase. All these medications were given through an IV and lasted two and a half hours. The chemo went fine and unlike the first three cycles, I didn't feel any pins/needles on my head and nausea wasn't present. Thank goodness.
Before they injected Taxotere into my bloodstream, the nurse provide two ice packs and placed them on both my wrists where my pulse/heartbeat are located. The nurse informed me that Taxotere will make my nails turn black. The ice packs will prevent the nails from changing its colour. That was a bit uncomfortable because they were cold but painless.
Well it's only been two hours since my chemo and so far I'm ok. I was able to eat a little bit. It might be a different story tonight or the next few days.
My next chemo has been postponed by one day. The original schedule was April 13, but the oncology clinic will be closed for the easter holidays. So my next chemo is April 14th. It will be a long day because the blood tests, the doctor's appointment and the chemo will all be done in one day. But as the saying goes, we'll take it one day at a time. At least we're four down, two more to go. :)
Last night I took 2 pills of dexamathasone, a prerequisite for the second phase. This morning, I had to take two additional pills of dexamathasone, 1 pill of anzemet, and another pill for anti-nausea. If I forgot to take these medications the doctor will postpone my chemo. But I didn't so I had the chemo this morning shortly after 9:00 a.m.
I was given the usual saline, dexamathasone, and another anti-nausea medication. Taxotere was also given to me, a new chemo med that I have to endure during the second phase. All these medications were given through an IV and lasted two and a half hours. The chemo went fine and unlike the first three cycles, I didn't feel any pins/needles on my head and nausea wasn't present. Thank goodness.
Before they injected Taxotere into my bloodstream, the nurse provide two ice packs and placed them on both my wrists where my pulse/heartbeat are located. The nurse informed me that Taxotere will make my nails turn black. The ice packs will prevent the nails from changing its colour. That was a bit uncomfortable because they were cold but painless.
Well it's only been two hours since my chemo and so far I'm ok. I was able to eat a little bit. It might be a different story tonight or the next few days.
My next chemo has been postponed by one day. The original schedule was April 13, but the oncology clinic will be closed for the easter holidays. So my next chemo is April 14th. It will be a long day because the blood tests, the doctor's appointment and the chemo will all be done in one day. But as the saying goes, we'll take it one day at a time. At least we're four down, two more to go. :)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
No News is Good News...Sometimes
It's been awhile since my last post. I don't know what to write on my blog and I didn't want to bore you with my daily activities. I guess no news is good news.
Like I said before I've been having good days for two weeks and it has been a blast. I definitely took advantage of these days and kept myself busy. I was out of the house doing errands, took the kids to Fantasy Fair (that was a bad idea because the place was filled to the rafters!), took the kids to a birthday party, had lunch or dinner with some very close friends, cleaned the house, worked out, etc. Yup I was busy alright.
By late yesterday afternoon I felt really tired. I guess it's my body's way of telling me to slow down and to take it easy before my chemo. So I went to bed right after dinner. I was knocked out as soon as my head touched the pillow. I was really tired. Then I woke up around midnight with some mild chest pains and was sweating a lot. That scared me a little bit so I got up, checked my temperature and blood pressure. Both were normal but my BP reading was higher than usual (120/90). The chest pain went away after awhile, maybe it was acid reflux or heartburn. I hope.
So I'm all set for my chemo tomorrow. Last Friday we went to the hospital for my regular bloodwork and met the oncologist. Like before, the results of my blood tests were good, Dr. R (the top honcho at the oncology clinic and he was on call last Friday) said one of my blood count was barely lower than usual but he still gave me the thumbs up to proceed with the chemo tomorrow (March 23).
Tomorrow will be my fourth chemo (out of six). It will also be the second phase of the chemo treatment. They will give me Taxotere, it's the T in the FEC/T protocol. Dr. R told us that bone pain will be one of the major side effects of this medication. They prescribed a stronger Tylenol to help with the pain. Dr. R said nausea/vomitting will not be present during the second phase of the chemo. However I just read the sheet they gave us about the medication, nausea and vomitting are some of the common side effects of Taxotere. Hmmm. I was actually looking forward to NOT having nausea and vomit since Dr. R mentioned it to us, now I'm not too sure anymore.
Another major side effect is hair loss starting two-three weeks after my treatment(including scalp hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, etc). I'm already bald so there's nothing new there. But losing the eyebrows and eyelashes? That's a scary thought.
Eye tearing is another side effect, I'm not entirely sure what this is but if it means watery eyes, then I've had it for at least a couple of weeks now. At first I thought it was reaction to my eye make-up or mascarra but I bought new ones and the watery eyes is still there. I reported this to the nurse but I was told it was normal with chemo. So now I always carry tissue papers to wipe the tears of my eyes. It bothers me a little bit but I can live with it. It's temporary.
I told Dr. R I don't know what to expect with the second phase of the treatment but he told me to look at it in a positive way how it is helping my body. He also said I'm halfway there and it'll be done before I know it. Based on my medical records and blood tests, Dr. R said I'm doing well. Dr. R also warned me that I have to take the one particular medication the night before the chemo, if I don't they will cancel the chemo and postpone it for another week. Now I just have to remember to take it tonight.
By this time tomorrow, chemo number 4 is over and who knows how my body will react to it. Hopefully not as bad as the first three. I'll keep you posted.
Like I said before I've been having good days for two weeks and it has been a blast. I definitely took advantage of these days and kept myself busy. I was out of the house doing errands, took the kids to Fantasy Fair (that was a bad idea because the place was filled to the rafters!), took the kids to a birthday party, had lunch or dinner with some very close friends, cleaned the house, worked out, etc. Yup I was busy alright.
By late yesterday afternoon I felt really tired. I guess it's my body's way of telling me to slow down and to take it easy before my chemo. So I went to bed right after dinner. I was knocked out as soon as my head touched the pillow. I was really tired. Then I woke up around midnight with some mild chest pains and was sweating a lot. That scared me a little bit so I got up, checked my temperature and blood pressure. Both were normal but my BP reading was higher than usual (120/90). The chest pain went away after awhile, maybe it was acid reflux or heartburn. I hope.
So I'm all set for my chemo tomorrow. Last Friday we went to the hospital for my regular bloodwork and met the oncologist. Like before, the results of my blood tests were good, Dr. R (the top honcho at the oncology clinic and he was on call last Friday) said one of my blood count was barely lower than usual but he still gave me the thumbs up to proceed with the chemo tomorrow (March 23).
Tomorrow will be my fourth chemo (out of six). It will also be the second phase of the chemo treatment. They will give me Taxotere, it's the T in the FEC/T protocol. Dr. R told us that bone pain will be one of the major side effects of this medication. They prescribed a stronger Tylenol to help with the pain. Dr. R said nausea/vomitting will not be present during the second phase of the chemo. However I just read the sheet they gave us about the medication, nausea and vomitting are some of the common side effects of Taxotere. Hmmm. I was actually looking forward to NOT having nausea and vomit since Dr. R mentioned it to us, now I'm not too sure anymore.
Another major side effect is hair loss starting two-three weeks after my treatment(including scalp hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, etc). I'm already bald so there's nothing new there. But losing the eyebrows and eyelashes? That's a scary thought.
Eye tearing is another side effect, I'm not entirely sure what this is but if it means watery eyes, then I've had it for at least a couple of weeks now. At first I thought it was reaction to my eye make-up or mascarra but I bought new ones and the watery eyes is still there. I reported this to the nurse but I was told it was normal with chemo. So now I always carry tissue papers to wipe the tears of my eyes. It bothers me a little bit but I can live with it. It's temporary.
I told Dr. R I don't know what to expect with the second phase of the treatment but he told me to look at it in a positive way how it is helping my body. He also said I'm halfway there and it'll be done before I know it. Based on my medical records and blood tests, Dr. R said I'm doing well. Dr. R also warned me that I have to take the one particular medication the night before the chemo, if I don't they will cancel the chemo and postpone it for another week. Now I just have to remember to take it tonight.
By this time tomorrow, chemo number 4 is over and who knows how my body will react to it. Hopefully not as bad as the first three. I'll keep you posted.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Spring is here
Well unofficially, that is. Spring is about to be sprung this Friday, March 20th.
Every spring I try to do some spring cleaning like most Canadians do to get rid of the clutter at home, clothes, toys, etc., sort them and toss them, junk that we've accummulated through the years. It is time to purge. Yesterday it was the kids toys, it was almost a full day event and it was tiring. Anyway, with the kids' help, I got rid of a lot of stuff, some for donation and most of it for garbage.
Next I plan to purge our clothes, clean the house, or clean the garden and maybe, just maybe, paint the wood trims in our living room, a task I'm dreading to do for a long time. These are daunting tasks and since I started chemo I usually get overwhelmed if I plan too many things at the same time. So what I'll do is play it by ear and see what I feel like doing each day.
It's also March Break, the kids are off from school for a week. I don't have any planned activities for them this week nor do I know what to do yet. But I think they're just happy to be home and not going to school is a treat for them. With the beautiful weather we've been having, they've been out playing with their friends almost everyday. I think they're happy and content staying at home, chill, hang out with their friends or play Mario Kart Wii. Great thing is it's free. I'll probably take them to Fantasy Fair sometime this week, it's their favourite.
Spring is here. I'm not an expert gardener nor do I have a green thumb but I can't wait to plant my annuals. I can't wait to see different vibrant colours in our tiny garden.
Seeing the sun shine everyday and the warm weather definitely got rid of my winter blues. I hope spring is here to stay.
Every spring I try to do some spring cleaning like most Canadians do to get rid of the clutter at home, clothes, toys, etc., sort them and toss them, junk that we've accummulated through the years. It is time to purge. Yesterday it was the kids toys, it was almost a full day event and it was tiring. Anyway, with the kids' help, I got rid of a lot of stuff, some for donation and most of it for garbage.
Next I plan to purge our clothes, clean the house, or clean the garden and maybe, just maybe, paint the wood trims in our living room, a task I'm dreading to do for a long time. These are daunting tasks and since I started chemo I usually get overwhelmed if I plan too many things at the same time. So what I'll do is play it by ear and see what I feel like doing each day.
It's also March Break, the kids are off from school for a week. I don't have any planned activities for them this week nor do I know what to do yet. But I think they're just happy to be home and not going to school is a treat for them. With the beautiful weather we've been having, they've been out playing with their friends almost everyday. I think they're happy and content staying at home, chill, hang out with their friends or play Mario Kart Wii. Great thing is it's free. I'll probably take them to Fantasy Fair sometime this week, it's their favourite.
Spring is here. I'm not an expert gardener nor do I have a green thumb but I can't wait to plant my annuals. I can't wait to see different vibrant colours in our tiny garden.
Seeing the sun shine everyday and the warm weather definitely got rid of my winter blues. I hope spring is here to stay.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
A Night to Remember
We have been blessed with a gorgeous weekend weather. It felt like spring, everyone came out of winter hibernation to enjoy the fabulous weather and the children were playing in the streets. For us living here in Canada, spring can't come fast enough because we're all sick of winter.
To cap off this gorgeous weekend, we went to my in-laws for dinner to celebrate my in-laws' birthdays, Mom turned 66 and Dad, 70. Their birthdays were a week apart. It was a fun night, great dinner and company. We didn't have the usual cake and didn't even sing happy birthday but it was so much fun. We played Trivial Pursuit. Mark and Tonya, my sister-in-law, gave their parents the newer version of the game for Christmas. It was a tough game. I was glad I teamed up with Mark and Kevin, both sports fanatics, and I was sure we'd kick the other team's butt with sports trivia. That wasn't the case, all the sports and leisure questions we got were mainly leisure. We finally had sports questions but it was about karate and sports before the 50s. What a bummer. Unfortunately, our team (Mark, Kevin, myself and Mark's Mom) lost. :( Mark's Dad, Tonya, Derek and my Mom won. It was a close game but it was definitely a lot of fun.
Jason and Josh also had a great time playing with Emily, their cousin. These three combined spells disaster, fun and tons of laughters or giggles when they're together. Typical kids. :) Their favourite playmate is their Opa (grandfather). But Opa was busy playing Trivial Pursuit. ;)
I definitely enjoyed the night, had a few good laughs and was stress free. It was a night to remember.
To cap off this gorgeous weekend, we went to my in-laws for dinner to celebrate my in-laws' birthdays, Mom turned 66 and Dad, 70. Their birthdays were a week apart. It was a fun night, great dinner and company. We didn't have the usual cake and didn't even sing happy birthday but it was so much fun. We played Trivial Pursuit. Mark and Tonya, my sister-in-law, gave their parents the newer version of the game for Christmas. It was a tough game. I was glad I teamed up with Mark and Kevin, both sports fanatics, and I was sure we'd kick the other team's butt with sports trivia. That wasn't the case, all the sports and leisure questions we got were mainly leisure. We finally had sports questions but it was about karate and sports before the 50s. What a bummer. Unfortunately, our team (Mark, Kevin, myself and Mark's Mom) lost. :( Mark's Dad, Tonya, Derek and my Mom won. It was a close game but it was definitely a lot of fun.
Jason and Josh also had a great time playing with Emily, their cousin. These three combined spells disaster, fun and tons of laughters or giggles when they're together. Typical kids. :) Their favourite playmate is their Opa (grandfather). But Opa was busy playing Trivial Pursuit. ;)
I definitely enjoyed the night, had a few good laughs and was stress free. It was a night to remember.
Good Days
Well this must be another record for me since I started chemo. I have been having good days since Monday. One full week!!! Aside from a headache or two (or maybe even three) I feel great. I hope my good days continue until the end of this week.
Feeling great everyday these days feels like a bonus or a treat for me. It's like winning a prize. I treasure these days and always take advantage of them. So I did a lot this week: did a lot of errands, went to work for a potluck lunch, went to the cancer exercise program twice this week, had lunch with a couple of dear friends, did a little of spring cleaning in the house and even hosted a small dinner party for close friends last night. Amazing. I'm sure my body's going to complain one way or the other by next week, but I'm loving it.
A few people asked me what do I do all this time during chemo. For starters, I can't do anything during chemo week. I'm completely useless, sick and bored out of my mind. But for the two-week break, I try to keep myself occupied, depending how I feel each day. If it's a good day, I go to the grocery, cook, read, do errands, sign up for courses at the Wellspring Cancer Centre (i.e. the Cancer Exercise Program, gentle yoga, Reiki therapy), go to the malls, meet friends for lunch, clean the house, do word puzzles, write my blog, etc. Pretty much anything and everything that I can do during those two precious weeks prior to chemo to get me active or at least make me go out of the house.
Since I've been feeling good, I'm also busy planning for Jason's 9th birthday party. We've sent out the invitations to his closest friends and I've made reservations at Laser Quest. Now I need to plan what to serve to his friends. Pizza seems to be the kids favourite and the easiest, all I have to do is order. Bake a cake and probably order an edible cake topper with Pokemon action figures as decoration. Yup, it's all about Pokemon for our kids lately.
If I'm still up to it I might even host a small birthday party for Jason and Mark to celebrate their birthdays. However, this is a few weeks from now and who knows how I will feel then. I'm not sure what to expect and how my body will react with the second phase of my chemo treatment. But for now I'm just excited to make plans because I've been having good days.
Feeling great everyday these days feels like a bonus or a treat for me. It's like winning a prize. I treasure these days and always take advantage of them. So I did a lot this week: did a lot of errands, went to work for a potluck lunch, went to the cancer exercise program twice this week, had lunch with a couple of dear friends, did a little of spring cleaning in the house and even hosted a small dinner party for close friends last night. Amazing. I'm sure my body's going to complain one way or the other by next week, but I'm loving it.
A few people asked me what do I do all this time during chemo. For starters, I can't do anything during chemo week. I'm completely useless, sick and bored out of my mind. But for the two-week break, I try to keep myself occupied, depending how I feel each day. If it's a good day, I go to the grocery, cook, read, do errands, sign up for courses at the Wellspring Cancer Centre (i.e. the Cancer Exercise Program, gentle yoga, Reiki therapy), go to the malls, meet friends for lunch, clean the house, do word puzzles, write my blog, etc. Pretty much anything and everything that I can do during those two precious weeks prior to chemo to get me active or at least make me go out of the house.
Since I've been feeling good, I'm also busy planning for Jason's 9th birthday party. We've sent out the invitations to his closest friends and I've made reservations at Laser Quest. Now I need to plan what to serve to his friends. Pizza seems to be the kids favourite and the easiest, all I have to do is order. Bake a cake and probably order an edible cake topper with Pokemon action figures as decoration. Yup, it's all about Pokemon for our kids lately.
If I'm still up to it I might even host a small birthday party for Jason and Mark to celebrate their birthdays. However, this is a few weeks from now and who knows how I will feel then. I'm not sure what to expect and how my body will react with the second phase of my chemo treatment. But for now I'm just excited to make plans because I've been having good days.
Friday, March 13, 2009
For the Record
I thought I'd throw in some fact and figures since I got sick:
...Five months since I discovered the lump in my right breast
...Four months since I have been diagnosed with breast cancer
...Three months since my surgery (lumpectomy)
...Two and a half months left for my chemo treatments
...Three chemos down, three to go
...A month and a half since I stopped taking my hypertension pills
And the best part:
...Three months and counting since Mark stopped smoking!!!! Woohoo! I'm doing a happy dance on this one. Oh yeah!
Time flies! Before I know it my treatments will all be over. I can't wait!
...Five months since I discovered the lump in my right breast
...Four months since I have been diagnosed with breast cancer
...Three months since my surgery (lumpectomy)
...Two and a half months left for my chemo treatments
...Three chemos down, three to go
...A month and a half since I stopped taking my hypertension pills
And the best part:
...Three months and counting since Mark stopped smoking!!!! Woohoo! I'm doing a happy dance on this one. Oh yeah!
Time flies! Before I know it my treatments will all be over. I can't wait!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wishful Thinking
As much as I hate chemo (and believe me I do!), I have to look at the bright side and consider it as my friend rather than my enemy or foe. Chemo does have some perks.
I have to psych myself that the chemo treatment is getting rid of all the bad cells in my body, hopefully every single bad friggin' cell. I hope that in the end my doctors will say: "You know what Steph the chemo did it's job and you're free of cancer!" I'm keeping my fingers crossed they do because it is taking me five long months undergoing chemo and it is sure isn't fun. But we live in a world where there are no guarantees in life and all I can do is pray for the best.
I'm also hoping chemo will get rid of what every woman gets and dreads every month, our period. One of the possible side effects of chemo is early menopause and eventually stop my period. How I wish this will happen to me. By far, the longest time I've had it is 17 days and counting. Can you imagine (if you're a woman) how annoying that is? Anyway, Dr. K told me that chemo will actually get rid of the fibroids. I also hope it'll get rid of my period.
Another perk of chemo is losing weight. Dr. K said because of the loss of appetite I'll lose weight. Woohoo! But wait, at the last chemo weigh in I actually gained a little bit. Bummer! However the oncology nurse told me I'd lose it again. Hmm... One of the medications I'm taking for nausea is a steroid. And you know what steroids do, makes you gain weight. So I'm not sure what to expect but I'm wishing I'd lose weight. I need to do something.
Exercise has been proven to be one of the factors that prevent the recurrence of cancer. And as a first step, I signed up for a 10-week cancer exercise program at Wellspring. The best part is it's FREE! :) It's twice a week at one hour each session. I started on Tuesday. I was quite surprised how great the program is. It is a group session but the coordinators designed a regimen for each cancer patient or survivor. No two regimens are the same. It's like having a personal trainer for free. Cool! It was a good workout, I was sweating a lot by the time I finished and my legs are sore. The instructors told me that I will see a big difference by the time I finish the program. I hope so! :)
One last wish... I'm praying chemo will hopefully give me a new lease on life. I wish that after all my treatments are done, it will give me a longer, cancer-free life. I wish that I do not get diagnosed with another type of cancer. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, all my doctors told me the pros and cons of all the treatments I'm having. One of the drawbacks is that there is a possibility of developing another type of cancer with each treatment. For the radiation therapy, a rare type of cancer and the chances are very slim. Whew! With chemo, there is always that possibilty. Crap! With hormonal therapy, maybe. Darn! So I wish all these bad cancer cells go away once and for all.
These are just wishful thinking on my part but I hope and pray I get my last wish granted.
I have to psych myself that the chemo treatment is getting rid of all the bad cells in my body, hopefully every single bad friggin' cell. I hope that in the end my doctors will say: "You know what Steph the chemo did it's job and you're free of cancer!" I'm keeping my fingers crossed they do because it is taking me five long months undergoing chemo and it is sure isn't fun. But we live in a world where there are no guarantees in life and all I can do is pray for the best.
I'm also hoping chemo will get rid of what every woman gets and dreads every month, our period. One of the possible side effects of chemo is early menopause and eventually stop my period. How I wish this will happen to me. By far, the longest time I've had it is 17 days and counting. Can you imagine (if you're a woman) how annoying that is? Anyway, Dr. K told me that chemo will actually get rid of the fibroids. I also hope it'll get rid of my period.
Another perk of chemo is losing weight. Dr. K said because of the loss of appetite I'll lose weight. Woohoo! But wait, at the last chemo weigh in I actually gained a little bit. Bummer! However the oncology nurse told me I'd lose it again. Hmm... One of the medications I'm taking for nausea is a steroid. And you know what steroids do, makes you gain weight. So I'm not sure what to expect but I'm wishing I'd lose weight. I need to do something.
Exercise has been proven to be one of the factors that prevent the recurrence of cancer. And as a first step, I signed up for a 10-week cancer exercise program at Wellspring. The best part is it's FREE! :) It's twice a week at one hour each session. I started on Tuesday. I was quite surprised how great the program is. It is a group session but the coordinators designed a regimen for each cancer patient or survivor. No two regimens are the same. It's like having a personal trainer for free. Cool! It was a good workout, I was sweating a lot by the time I finished and my legs are sore. The instructors told me that I will see a big difference by the time I finish the program. I hope so! :)
One last wish... I'm praying chemo will hopefully give me a new lease on life. I wish that after all my treatments are done, it will give me a longer, cancer-free life. I wish that I do not get diagnosed with another type of cancer. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, all my doctors told me the pros and cons of all the treatments I'm having. One of the drawbacks is that there is a possibility of developing another type of cancer with each treatment. For the radiation therapy, a rare type of cancer and the chances are very slim. Whew! With chemo, there is always that possibilty. Crap! With hormonal therapy, maybe. Darn! So I wish all these bad cancer cells go away once and for all.
These are just wishful thinking on my part but I hope and pray I get my last wish granted.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Seems Like Old Times
My friends at work invited me over for a potluck lunch today. It was a send off party to our favourite section, the PDS gang, they're moving to our new building. :) I took Josh with me.
For my share, I brought my mother-in-law's famous dessert, sex in the pan. The name sounds silly but it is really good. It is made of pudding, wafer, milk, a bit of chocolate. I got my co-workers hooked on it :) Thanks Mom.
There were so many food to choose from. It was like a feast of international food ranging from samosas, meatballs, pastas, chinese dish, salads, chicken, taco salad dips, indian food and a whole lot more! Yummy!
Josh had a great time too, he was really comfortable talking to my friends at work and they had fun talking to him too. For him the highlights of going to the office was eating the chocolate chip cookies which he loved (thanks Ralph!) and drawing pictures in the colourful papers (thanks Lindsay!). So after we left the office, Josh asked me if he can go with me again the next time I visit the office. We'll see.
But the best part was I got to see everyone at work again. It seems like old times! :)
Almost everyone expressed positive and encouraging words. It felt really good. I felt like my old self during my pre-cancer days. It was nice to chat with my colleagues and shared a few good laughs. It was a change I needed from my routine since the chemo started.
I can't believe how much I miss work. I'm the type of person who'd rather work than stay at home. As much as I love my kids, staying home all the time bores me to no end. Working is fun (for the most part). It's the interaction with people that I love most plus the challenges that my work brings keeps my brain in tip-top shape and gets the adrenaline going.
I would rather work than be stuck at home sick with cancer. I can't wait to go back to work.
For my share, I brought my mother-in-law's famous dessert, sex in the pan. The name sounds silly but it is really good. It is made of pudding, wafer, milk, a bit of chocolate. I got my co-workers hooked on it :) Thanks Mom.
There were so many food to choose from. It was like a feast of international food ranging from samosas, meatballs, pastas, chinese dish, salads, chicken, taco salad dips, indian food and a whole lot more! Yummy!
Josh had a great time too, he was really comfortable talking to my friends at work and they had fun talking to him too. For him the highlights of going to the office was eating the chocolate chip cookies which he loved (thanks Ralph!) and drawing pictures in the colourful papers (thanks Lindsay!). So after we left the office, Josh asked me if he can go with me again the next time I visit the office. We'll see.
But the best part was I got to see everyone at work again. It seems like old times! :)
Almost everyone expressed positive and encouraging words. It felt really good. I felt like my old self during my pre-cancer days. It was nice to chat with my colleagues and shared a few good laughs. It was a change I needed from my routine since the chemo started.
I can't believe how much I miss work. I'm the type of person who'd rather work than stay at home. As much as I love my kids, staying home all the time bores me to no end. Working is fun (for the most part). It's the interaction with people that I love most plus the challenges that my work brings keeps my brain in tip-top shape and gets the adrenaline going.
I would rather work than be stuck at home sick with cancer. I can't wait to go back to work.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Boys will be boys
While having dinner sometime last week our kids finally asked me if I've lost my hair. I don't remember how our conversation ended up with my bald look but it did. I wasn't sure how to answer it nor was I sure how would they react if I told them the truth. But I knew I had to explain it to them the way they will understand it and tried to put humour in it just the way they like it.
So I said Mommy's completely bald, now I look like a boy like them and they have more hair than I do. I even gave them a sneak peek of my bald head by lifting my hat a wee bit. They reacted the way I expected them too, laughing with me, not at me, making jokes and other stuff. I was relieved. Then came the usual questions about being bald: why, how come, when did it start, how does it look like, why do I have hair sometimes and when will it grow back. I think I answered them all and they were fine with it.
Explaining it to them was easier than I thought it would be. Initially I thought I'd cry buckets when the time came and they ask me about it. But I didn't. There's a very thin line between my cancer and our kids that is too sensitive and I cannot even handle it without crying. A topic I should avoid discussing together because I turn into a basket case. So true.
Anyway, I think our sons still get confused with my everyday look. Occasionally, I see them staring at me especially Jason, if I go out wearing a wig and take it off as soon as I get home and wear a hat. I feel uncomfortable at times when they do that but I guess that's expected. I told them I'm still sick and won't get my hair back until later this year. On the other hand, Joshua told me twice since this weekend I'm probably getting better because my hair started to grow back. I tried to explain it was a wig but I don't think he really understood.
We had another funny conversation with the boys while having dinner last night. I forgot how it happened but we discussed how Mark and I met and why we are their parents. We told them that if Mommy and Daddy didn't meet both of them won't be here. Then it led to having another baby. We can't have another one but Mark asked if they want a baby sister. Jason and Josh were against the idea of having a baby sister. No girls they said. They want another brother! Goodness. I said I don't want another boy because it's already crazy around the house having them around let alone another boy. Yikes, I'll need an extra lifeline if ever! ;) It was a long but funny discussion with our kids. Jason asked "what about a step brother?". I said that will only happen if Daddy and Mommy get separated and if for example Daddy gets married to another woman and that woman has a son, then they will have a step brother. That caught them by surprise and both of them told us they hope we don't get separated and that they want me to be their mom "every day of the month, forever". ;) Oh so sweet!
I love my boys (including Mark)! ;)
So I said Mommy's completely bald, now I look like a boy like them and they have more hair than I do. I even gave them a sneak peek of my bald head by lifting my hat a wee bit. They reacted the way I expected them too, laughing with me, not at me, making jokes and other stuff. I was relieved. Then came the usual questions about being bald: why, how come, when did it start, how does it look like, why do I have hair sometimes and when will it grow back. I think I answered them all and they were fine with it.
Explaining it to them was easier than I thought it would be. Initially I thought I'd cry buckets when the time came and they ask me about it. But I didn't. There's a very thin line between my cancer and our kids that is too sensitive and I cannot even handle it without crying. A topic I should avoid discussing together because I turn into a basket case. So true.
Anyway, I think our sons still get confused with my everyday look. Occasionally, I see them staring at me especially Jason, if I go out wearing a wig and take it off as soon as I get home and wear a hat. I feel uncomfortable at times when they do that but I guess that's expected. I told them I'm still sick and won't get my hair back until later this year. On the other hand, Joshua told me twice since this weekend I'm probably getting better because my hair started to grow back. I tried to explain it was a wig but I don't think he really understood.
We had another funny conversation with the boys while having dinner last night. I forgot how it happened but we discussed how Mark and I met and why we are their parents. We told them that if Mommy and Daddy didn't meet both of them won't be here. Then it led to having another baby. We can't have another one but Mark asked if they want a baby sister. Jason and Josh were against the idea of having a baby sister. No girls they said. They want another brother! Goodness. I said I don't want another boy because it's already crazy around the house having them around let alone another boy. Yikes, I'll need an extra lifeline if ever! ;) It was a long but funny discussion with our kids. Jason asked "what about a step brother?". I said that will only happen if Daddy and Mommy get separated and if for example Daddy gets married to another woman and that woman has a son, then they will have a step brother. That caught them by surprise and both of them told us they hope we don't get separated and that they want me to be their mom "every day of the month, forever". ;) Oh so sweet!
I love my boys (including Mark)! ;)
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Have I mentioned yet how much I hate this?
Chemo cycle, you gotta hate it! This time around it took me five long agonizing days to recover from this despicable cycle.
I knew it was going to be bad even before the chemo started. Right from the get go, I was nauseous and I wasn't prepared mentally! Then I could not even drink water because it made my tummy churn. Close to the end of the chemo, I was required to take ice chips to prevent mouth sores. The taste of plain ice chips was unbearable and made me want to throw up!! It was too much! I cried a few times at the hospital because the chemo hurt and I could not stand the metal taste in my mouth. That plus the pins and needles I felt on my crown were overwhelming. Dear God! I prayed for strength so hard that day.
So as expected it took me awhile to recover. There wasn't a lot of vomitting this time but definitely nausea was the name of the game. Loss of appetite, sensitivity to scents, fatigue, chills, dizziness and hot flashes were also in full force. On the third night I thought I had my appetite back, so I had dinner with the family, something that doesn't happen when I'm recovering from chemo. Well so much for that, not even a minute after I finished eating my meal did I throw up everything. Gross!
Fourth day I suddenly sweat like crazy late in the afternoon. I was so hot. I tried to take off my sweater and regretted doing it because I felt cold and was shivering like crazy. OMG! My temperature was 37.5 celsius. Thank God, no fever! But what the heck happened? I don't know. I was just glad I didn't have the fever. Good news was at least I was able to eat some dinner with the family. :)
Yesterday I was still nauseous but started to feel a little better than the previous days. I was quite excited to be back to my normal self but ended up not doing much. Dizziness struck me and it was not fun. But one positive thing was I had a craving for food and that's a sign I'm on the road to recovery. Woohoo! I craved for one type of food and my girlfriend delivered it to our house! I was quite happy, thanks Z! Since I was dizzy yesterday I did not even dare drive anywhere. So B graciously offered to drive me to Wal-mart to buy presents for Josh's friend. At least it gave me the chance to get out of the house.
But with the recovery comes a wee bit of depression. What do you expect? I couldn't do much, I was useless and had no control of what's happening to me. I don't look really sick but I hated the way I looked especially right after chemo while recovering. No hair, no make-up and I miss dressing up. I don't even feel like a woman. For me it was depressing. I needed a good cry and I needed a shoulder to cry on. Mark was there for me. He consoled and comforted me. Mark knew the right words to say and it made me feel better. I guess that's what I needed to do - to cry and release the angst that is within me.
Today I think I have completely recovered from Cycle 3 and feel so much better. I was able to drive Josh to his friend's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, drive my Mom to Winner's and do a little bit of shopping myself. :)
I have two glorious chemo-free weeks to look forward to (hopefully!) and I treasure those weeks like no other. A period where, for the most part, I feel normal, get to mingle with family/friends and do regular stuff. Two more weeks before the next cycle, have I mentioned yet how much I hate it?
I knew it was going to be bad even before the chemo started. Right from the get go, I was nauseous and I wasn't prepared mentally! Then I could not even drink water because it made my tummy churn. Close to the end of the chemo, I was required to take ice chips to prevent mouth sores. The taste of plain ice chips was unbearable and made me want to throw up!! It was too much! I cried a few times at the hospital because the chemo hurt and I could not stand the metal taste in my mouth. That plus the pins and needles I felt on my crown were overwhelming. Dear God! I prayed for strength so hard that day.
So as expected it took me awhile to recover. There wasn't a lot of vomitting this time but definitely nausea was the name of the game. Loss of appetite, sensitivity to scents, fatigue, chills, dizziness and hot flashes were also in full force. On the third night I thought I had my appetite back, so I had dinner with the family, something that doesn't happen when I'm recovering from chemo. Well so much for that, not even a minute after I finished eating my meal did I throw up everything. Gross!
Fourth day I suddenly sweat like crazy late in the afternoon. I was so hot. I tried to take off my sweater and regretted doing it because I felt cold and was shivering like crazy. OMG! My temperature was 37.5 celsius. Thank God, no fever! But what the heck happened? I don't know. I was just glad I didn't have the fever. Good news was at least I was able to eat some dinner with the family. :)
Yesterday I was still nauseous but started to feel a little better than the previous days. I was quite excited to be back to my normal self but ended up not doing much. Dizziness struck me and it was not fun. But one positive thing was I had a craving for food and that's a sign I'm on the road to recovery. Woohoo! I craved for one type of food and my girlfriend delivered it to our house! I was quite happy, thanks Z! Since I was dizzy yesterday I did not even dare drive anywhere. So B graciously offered to drive me to Wal-mart to buy presents for Josh's friend. At least it gave me the chance to get out of the house.
But with the recovery comes a wee bit of depression. What do you expect? I couldn't do much, I was useless and had no control of what's happening to me. I don't look really sick but I hated the way I looked especially right after chemo while recovering. No hair, no make-up and I miss dressing up. I don't even feel like a woman. For me it was depressing. I needed a good cry and I needed a shoulder to cry on. Mark was there for me. He consoled and comforted me. Mark knew the right words to say and it made me feel better. I guess that's what I needed to do - to cry and release the angst that is within me.
Today I think I have completely recovered from Cycle 3 and feel so much better. I was able to drive Josh to his friend's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, drive my Mom to Winner's and do a little bit of shopping myself. :)
I have two glorious chemo-free weeks to look forward to (hopefully!) and I treasure those weeks like no other. A period where, for the most part, I feel normal, get to mingle with family/friends and do regular stuff. Two more weeks before the next cycle, have I mentioned yet how much I hate it?
Monday, March 2, 2009
Number 3
Today is my third chemo and I can't say I'm looking forward to it (at 11:15 a.m. to be exact). Can I stop the hands of time? Even for another hour or two.
Whenever I go to the oncology clinic it feels like I'm a prisoner walking into a death chamber. I might as well be because the thought of poison going in my body is repulsive. The difference is I'm still alive after the treatment and at least it is getting rid of the bad cancer cells.
Like before I will be completely useless for about three to four days. I just hate it! On the bright side it's my third chemo out of six, I'm halfway through but still too early to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows what the next three cycles will bring?
I haven't been myself the last couple of days probably dreading this day. It completely spoils everything: my attitude, my mood, my energy level and my appetite. It's pathetic and I have to endure three more of this chemo crap!!!
I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!
Whenever I go to the oncology clinic it feels like I'm a prisoner walking into a death chamber. I might as well be because the thought of poison going in my body is repulsive. The difference is I'm still alive after the treatment and at least it is getting rid of the bad cancer cells.
Like before I will be completely useless for about three to four days. I just hate it! On the bright side it's my third chemo out of six, I'm halfway through but still too early to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows what the next three cycles will bring?
I haven't been myself the last couple of days probably dreading this day. It completely spoils everything: my attitude, my mood, my energy level and my appetite. It's pathetic and I have to endure three more of this chemo crap!!!
I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!
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