Wishful Thinking

As much as I hate chemo (and believe me I do!), I have to look at the bright side and consider it as my friend rather than my enemy or foe. Chemo does have some perks.

I have to psych myself that the chemo treatment is getting rid of all the bad cells in my body, hopefully every single bad friggin' cell. I hope that in the end my doctors will say: "You know what Steph the chemo did it's job and you're free of cancer!" I'm keeping my fingers crossed they do because it is taking me five long months undergoing chemo and it is sure isn't fun. But we live in a world where there are no guarantees in life and all I can do is pray for the best.

I'm also hoping chemo will get rid of what every woman gets and dreads every month, our period. One of the possible side effects of chemo is early menopause and eventually stop my period. How I wish this will happen to me. By far, the longest time I've had it is 17 days and counting. Can you imagine (if you're a woman) how annoying that is? Anyway, Dr. K told me that chemo will actually get rid of the fibroids. I also hope it'll get rid of my period.

Another perk of chemo is losing weight. Dr. K said because of the loss of appetite I'll lose weight. Woohoo! But wait, at the last chemo weigh in I actually gained a little bit. Bummer! However the oncology nurse told me I'd lose it again. Hmm... One of the medications I'm taking for nausea is a steroid. And you know what steroids do, makes you gain weight. So I'm not sure what to expect but I'm wishing I'd lose weight. I need to do something.

Exercise has been proven to be one of the factors that prevent the recurrence of cancer. And as a first step, I signed up for a 10-week cancer exercise program at Wellspring. The best part is it's FREE! :) It's twice a week at one hour each session. I started on Tuesday. I was quite surprised how great the program is. It is a group session but the coordinators designed a regimen for each cancer patient or survivor. No two regimens are the same. It's like having a personal trainer for free. Cool! It was a good workout, I was sweating a lot by the time I finished and my legs are sore. The instructors told me that I will see a big difference by the time I finish the program. I hope so! :)

One last wish... I'm praying chemo will hopefully give me a new lease on life. I wish that after all my treatments are done, it will give me a longer, cancer-free life. I wish that I do not get diagnosed with another type of cancer. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, all my doctors told me the pros and cons of all the treatments I'm having. One of the drawbacks is that there is a possibility of developing another type of cancer with each treatment. For the radiation therapy, a rare type of cancer and the chances are very slim. Whew! With chemo, there is always that possibilty. Crap! With hormonal therapy, maybe. Darn! So I wish all these bad cancer cells go away once and for all.

These are just wishful thinking on my part but I hope and pray I get my last wish granted.