Carpe diem

This has been on my mind recently, partly because of the book I've been reading mentioned this several times  - carpe diem (seize the day).

I then reflect on my life - spent most of it worrying about something, from the smallest to the craziest.  A worrywart to the max!  There was a time in my life when I was an optimistic person.  But like anything else, I have changed because of age, circumstances, job, family... the works.  It didn't help that I had breast cancer which magnified my worrywart persona. 

I'm at a point where everything feels like a blah.  But the thought of seizing the day made me think twice.  We only live once and why not, should I dare say it, go out of the norm, be spontaneous and seize the day.  It is so unlike me.

Listening to today's homily did put some sense into it, there are many "should" in our lives to make it perfect for ourselves, our family, our jobs, our lives, etcetera.  It hit me, I do all those.  I always think that I should to make sure everything is perfect the way I want it, the way it should be.  It causes anxiety, stress and frustration.

So for starters, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone, trying new things, doing something out of the norm... so that I can enjoy life and seize the day.  We'll see how it goes.

Fifty Shades of OMG

Who has not read the book "Fifty Shades of Grey"? 

First I've heard of it was on Facebook, almost everyone had their oohs and aahs about the book.  I'm like what's the big deal?  Then in the summer during a game night with friends the guys bought their girlfriends/wives the trilogy/series.  So I thought how come almost everyone joined the bandwagon and read it???  But I shrugged it off after hearing that it was some sort of S&M thingy which is not my cup of tea.

Anyway, my friend lent me her copy a couple of months ago but only set it aside because I just didn't feel like reading it.  I took a couple of days off from work last weekend and just wanted to chill.  In doing so, I've decided to finally take the plunge and read it.  WEEEEEELLLLLLL!!!!  NOW I know what the fuzz was all about!  It was so good!  I finished the first book in no time and now into the second book, "Fifty Shades Darker".  Although the book gives a few "tricks of the trade" of you know what (wink, wink) I loved the storyline the most.  The book is awesome and how these were written was great.... it has romance, sense of humor, mystery and a whole lot more which probably made me say more than fifty shades of OMGs and that was only on the first couple of chapters from the book!  LOL

Disconnect

I took the day off from work and just chilled.  It felt like my brain and body disconnected.  The brain is telling one thing and the body did something else.  That is my cue that it is time to just chill, relax and get away from the madness called work.

It could be a result of a few things - feeling depressed, confidence at its all time low, lack of sleep, fatigue, getting old.  It was embarassing at times. 

I worry about things even though I shouldn't.  But one day this week I saw in my calendar, a bible verse that a person cannot control everything.  If things are getting crazy, pray, leave it up to the Lord and He will do the rest.  That's what I have done since leave it up to Him.  Since then everything seems to turn out fine.

Hopefully this weekend will be the quick fix I need to switch from disconnect to CONNECT!

Fresh Start.... kind of

Wow it's been ages since I had an entry on my blog. I feel kind of lost and rusty.

A big part of me didn't want to go back doing this blog.  I didn't know what to write and because it reminds me of that dreaded time doing those yucky treatments and the Sinead O'Connor-phase/bald look.  I still am on a treatment (1.5 year to go baby!) and I still do not have a full set of hair.  Note that my hair is depressingly thin on top that on certain days it really dampens the mood. Big time!  I do not feel beautiful nor do I feel a 100% the old me. 

Then there's that part of me that do want to continue.  To de-stress, unleash my thoughts, vent or even start something new.  Work has taken on pretty much my life lately.  Pathetic, really.   I needed to do something that will take my mind off work, something that I will look forward to at the end of each day. 

And like Oprah, I had an "Aha!" moment a couple of weeks ago.  Restart the blog. Why not?!?! Life is too short.  I want to do something fresh, sort of. Who cares if only a couple of people or no one reads it.  I am doing it for me.  Nobody else. 

So here I go again... blogging.