Back to Normal?

On Saturday I had an unexpected visitor, my period. I thought my days of having my monthly visitor were done, finito! Guess not.

I couldn't believe it after like eight months of not having it at all. It was back. Instead of looking at it as a monthly nuisance I will take it that my body finally got rid of the chemo and everything is back to normal.

Same goes with my toenails, they are almost back to normal except for the tips of two biggest/smallest toes which still have a hint of darkness to it. In a couple of weeks I'll cut them off and they'll be as good as new. My fingernails are looking fabulous and quite honestly I never appreciated them more than I do now. Sometimes I just stare at them at disbelief they're back to normal. :)

My hair? It's getting there. It's the curliest it's ever been. They were curly when I was a child but not as curly as I have them now. It's still very short. The top part is still kind of thin. Thin enough that I still get conscious about it. Thin enough that I still wear my wig to work or at parties. Thin enough that I still wear a bandana when I go out of the house but I don't wear anything on my head when I am at home. But today was a big step for me. I talked to my neighbour for the first time without any head cover and it felt awesome. Someone might say so what, it was not a big deal. It was to me.

I know it may sound weird but after my chemo every little thing I do that makes me feel normal again is liberating! I feel like jumping for joy every single time, it even chokes me up sometimes, because I know in my own little way I won. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm happy. And if those are signs that I am indeed back to normal, well darn it, I am so glad I am!

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day! A day for all moms to get pampered and be queen for a day. It is a day to celebrate motherhood, a role that is so important yet at times taken for granted. I think a mom is the glue that keeps the family together. She keeps her hubby the man that he is today and will do anything and everything to make her children happy.

Although there may be times the role of a mom can be overwhelming and challenging, I will not trade it for the world. I love it when I hear my kids laughing, see them playing, spending time with them, watching them grow right before my eyes and saying the darnest things that you never thought kids would say.

Yesterday our six-year old son said "Mommy you will always be in my heart and I will always love you". Where did he hear that? He said he just thought about it and that he meant it. There I was extremely touched and tried to hold back my tears. Our 10-year old son also gave me a personal card that said "you are number 1, not number 2, I love you". Geez, I was so proud of them! Today hubby gave me a card that said "you're the love of my life". With those words, I'm a happy camper. :)

This year's Mother's Day is extra special! A year ago on May 4th was my last chemo session. Days leading to May 4th it was on my mind constantly and on the actual day I completely forgot about it. I had a crazy week at work to say the least and I won't get into that. But thanks to my wonderful hubby, he reminded me the day after that it was indeed a year after my last chemo session. I emailed my closest friends at work about it and they we're all proud of me.

It was a celebration. The fact that I surpassed one of the most difficult treatment a person could endure. It was a big feat! So our family went out for dinner to mark the occasion. We didn't tell the kids why we dined out that night. It was for me and Mark. We won our battle.

Darn it...

Breast cancer claimed another life....Lynn Redgrave, the actress. According to People.com - "She was 67 and had waged a lengthy battle with breast cancer." May she rest in peace.

It is words like these - "lengthy battle with breast cancer" or "lost her battle to breast cancer" that kind of hits a sore spot in me. It is something that ruins my good mood in a heartbeat. This is why there are times I do not read the newspapers or magazines at all because it depresses me when I read stuff about breast cancer or people losing their battle against this dreaded disease.

Life is full of uncertainties that one does not know what lies ahead. You just have to take it with a grain of salt. Live life to the fullest and pray to the good Lord up above that you will be okay and cancer-free for the rest of your life.