Boys will be boys

While having dinner sometime last week our kids finally asked me if I've lost my hair. I don't remember how our conversation ended up with my bald look but it did. I wasn't sure how to answer it nor was I sure how would they react if I told them the truth. But I knew I had to explain it to them the way they will understand it and tried to put humour in it just the way they like it.

So I said Mommy's completely bald, now I look like a boy like them and they have more hair than I do. I even gave them a sneak peek of my bald head by lifting my hat a wee bit. They reacted the way I expected them too, laughing with me, not at me, making jokes and other stuff. I was relieved. Then came the usual questions about being bald: why, how come, when did it start, how does it look like, why do I have hair sometimes and when will it grow back. I think I answered them all and they were fine with it.

Explaining it to them was easier than I thought it would be. Initially I thought I'd cry buckets when the time came and they ask me about it. But I didn't. There's a very thin line between my cancer and our kids that is too sensitive and I cannot even handle it without crying. A topic I should avoid discussing together because I turn into a basket case. So true.

Anyway, I think our sons still get confused with my everyday look. Occasionally, I see them staring at me especially Jason, if I go out wearing a wig and take it off as soon as I get home and wear a hat. I feel uncomfortable at times when they do that but I guess that's expected. I told them I'm still sick and won't get my hair back until later this year. On the other hand, Joshua told me twice since this weekend I'm probably getting better because my hair started to grow back. I tried to explain it was a wig but I don't think he really understood.

We had another funny conversation with the boys while having dinner last night. I forgot how it happened but we discussed how Mark and I met and why we are their parents. We told them that if Mommy and Daddy didn't meet both of them won't be here. Then it led to having another baby. We can't have another one but Mark asked if they want a baby sister. Jason and Josh were against the idea of having a baby sister. No girls they said. They want another brother! Goodness. I said I don't want another boy because it's already crazy around the house having them around let alone another boy. Yikes, I'll need an extra lifeline if ever! ;) It was a long but funny discussion with our kids. Jason asked "what about a step brother?". I said that will only happen if Daddy and Mommy get separated and if for example Daddy gets married to another woman and that woman has a son, then they will have a step brother. That caught them by surprise and both of them told us they hope we don't get separated and that they want me to be their mom "every day of the month, forever". ;) Oh so sweet!

I love my boys (including Mark)! ;)