While having dinner tonight Jason asked me why I'm not back at work. In his eyes, I do not look sick and was wondering when am I going back to work. I explained to him that although I may look well, I'm still weak and my body has not fully recovered from chemo. I also told him that I go to the hospital everyday to receive radiation therapy. Jason said "but you are not sick and don't sleep the whole day like you did before" (he was referring to my chemo days). I said the worst part of my treatment is over and that radiation is not as bad as chemo. Jason wanted to know when I will be well enough to go to work. It felt like no matter what I said, he was still confused. I think out of frustration, he stopped asking.
How do you explain to a 9 year old boy what my current situation when I don't even know what the answer is? I do not know if the chemo worked. I do not know how effective the radiation is. I do not know when my doctors will give me a clean bill of health.
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