Ups and Downs

I wrote in my last post that this is a stressful time for me and tomorrow being my chemo day, the stress is unbelievable. Sometimes I wish my chemo was today just to get it over and done with but thanks to all the holidays, my chemo is tomorrow.

Chemo gives me anxiety to this day even though I've already had four treatments behind me. I hate it with a passion. Family and friends told me at least I only have two left and after tomorrow, only one more and I'm done. I guess that's the positive way of looking at it.

Since my last post I've had my ups and downs. I've been very emotional to the point that if I hear a ballad music or see something sad on TV show about cancer patients my tears come up in a second. I just can't help being emotional at times. But I am trying hard to be positive, seriously.

I did have good times this Easter weekend. On Friday we went to my in-laws for an early Easter dinner, Mark's Mom made a fabulous and delicious turkey dinner and we played Trivial Pursuit afterwards, to which our team won (woohoo!). I had a great time that night. On Saturday, the kids had a sleepover at my in-laws for a much needed break from us. Mark took me out to a fancy dinner at Terrace on the Green and watched a movie. That was fun. On Sunday, we went hiking at the Forks of the Credit Provincial Park. I was hesitant at first because hiking isn't my cup of tea. I was gasping for air when we went uphill and had to take a few breaks to catch my breath. But I'm glad I went because it was nice and refreshing, like getting in touch with nature. We took some pictures and the kids enjoyed it too.

So I guess you can call it a good balance of my ups and downs. For today I have to do something to keep my mind off about tomorrow's chemo. I don't know what to do yet but I have to keep myself busy to avoid unhappy thoughts. We'll see how it goes.