It will be a week tomorrow since I received the dreaded news. How am I feeling? Crappy... in denial... scared ... and maybe...still in shock. I honestly cannot tell you exactly how I feel right now because I don't know myself. I feel like a robot or a zombie doing stuff I normally do but have not really cared what happens. My mind just keeps wandering off. I am aware that I have to be careful when driving or be alert when working. I often would be staring at walls or the horizon and feels like my head stopped working or in a daze.
I'm really finding it hard this time to deal with this but the show must go on. I went back to work and have tried to keep my mind busy. I crank up the music in my car while driving so I won't have time to think. I play video games or watch my favorite shows when I'm at home. I will do anything to keep my mind off it.
I would like to think I am okay now. Maybe I am. I have family and friends who loves/supports me. One friend said that we should look at the positive side of things instead of the negative. Maybe she's right. Hard as it may, I have been trying to think positive and take everything one day at a time. It's the only thing that I can do.
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