Thursday, February 17, 2011

The show must go on...

It will be a week tomorrow since I received the dreaded news.  How am I feeling?  Crappy... in denial... scared ... and maybe...still in shock.  I honestly cannot tell you exactly how I feel right now because I don't know myself.  I feel like a robot or a zombie doing stuff I normally do but have not really cared what happens.  My mind just keeps wandering off.  I am aware that I have to be careful when driving or be alert when working.  I often would be staring at walls or the horizon and feels like my head stopped working or in a daze. 

I'm really finding it hard this time to deal with this but the show must go on.  I went back to work and have tried to keep my mind busy.  I crank up the music in my car while driving so I won't have time to think.  I play video games or watch my favorite shows when I'm at home.  I will do anything to keep my mind off it.

I would like to think I am okay now.  Maybe I am.  I have family and friends who loves/supports me.  One friend said that we should look at the positive side of things instead of the negative.  Maybe she's right.  Hard as it may, I have been trying to think positive and take everything one day at a time.  It's the only thing that I can do.

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