Figuratively, it means to feel strongly about someone or something, emotionally....Or it to be nervous or scared about something. I guess they're kind of the same but I wanted a title for this post that kind of gives you an idea how I feel lately. Somehow this idiom fits the bill especially since it relates to my mouth. Hee hee.
It has been tough since the palatal surgery. The mouth guard is starting to annoy me and it is only Day 5 (I think I have three more weeks to go). I could hardly feel it but the thought that it is there is driving me up the wall. It feels like my teeth needs to be free/breathe! ;) For me, it kinda feels like having a piece of meat stuck between your teeth and you cannot remove it... I am not allowed to brush my teeth with toothpaste either (Ew!!!!!). That grosses me out. Seriously! It is hard to talk and swallow. Also the blenderized diet is not that appealing.
I'm probably going to call Dr. C2's office because I want to know if I am allowed to brush my teeth with toothpaste, eat solid food and see if the white spot on my palate is normal after surgery. I also got really sick this weekend. I was bedridden and could not do anything, I was so weak and was in pain. Nausea plus vomitting on Saturday night puts the icing on the cake, so to speak. It was not fun at all.
Our kids started asking Mark questions if I am ok. For them a good sign I'm ill is if I'm the bedroom the whole day and very weak (exactly what happened this weekend). So far we've been able to dodge the kids' questions with simple answers but I do not know how they really feel. Our eldest son is starting to give me the "look" or check up on me every now and then, similar to what he did when I had chemo. I've only managed to tell them that I do not feel well. Some may disagree, but the lesser our kids know, the better.
I have been so busy the past few weeks that I hardly had time to think about the tumor on the palate or the cyst on my breast. That's good I guess or maybe I've become numb through it all.
This morning we saw Dr. P, surgeon who did the lumpectomy two years ago. It was a consultation for the cyst found on my left breast. Like Drs. K and C, Dr. P did not feel the cyst or any lumps on my left breast. He checked it a few times in various ways. Dr. P also checked the other breast and said it is healing fine. He said the cyst is very small (less than 1 cm) and the fact that I'm experiencing pain is consistent with the symptoms of a benign cyst. Which is a good thing, according to Dr. P. At this point, nothing can be done but simply observe the cyst. A three-month breast ultrasound is in order to monitor the cyst. If it changes, Dr. P will discuss the options after I have the ultrasound in October. Hopefully it will be okay. Dr. P assured me that it is nothing to be concerned about. Exactly the words I want to hear. :)
It feels like the worst part of the recent health scares are almost over. I can breathe a sigh of relief. All I need to do is to psych myself, again, that everything will be alright.
My heart is in my mouth with all the moral support, words of encouragement and continued prayers we have received from family and friends. I am deeply touched by your kindness and I cannot thank you enough for that.
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