$h!t Happens...

Scene 1 - Dental office, regular cleaning appointment

Me (nonchalantly): Hey Dr. J, can you check what's on my palate? I can feel a blister like bump. It doesn't bug me, doesn't hurt nor is it growing.
Dr J: Yup, I see it's about 2cm x 2cm. How long have you had it?

Me: I dunno, forever? Maybe at least a couple of years.

Dr J: I'd like you to see a specialist just to make sure. It's probably nothing but better safe than sorry. It could be a bacteria, a cyst or infection

Uhm... I heard cyst...my heart skipped a beat! Oh no not again!!!!

Scene 2 - Specialist`s office
I saw Dr. A, asked me all the regular questions on new patients, my health history and why I was there. Fast forward, he examined my palate.

Dr. A: OK, I do see the bump and I would like to order a biopsy just to make sure what it is.
Me: (heart pounding like crazy) BIOPSY?! Why what is it?

Dr. A: It could be a number of things, we just want to make sure. It could be a cyst or a tumor, but it is not cancer.
Me: (I wanted to shout - WTF! but instead I said...) TUMOR?!
Dr. A: It could be a tumor or a cyst. But it is not cancer so relax. (Yeah right!)

I'm f*$k3d up! I heard the same $h!t all over again. Those were the exact words my family doctor and also my surgeon told me when I had breast cancer..."it could be a cyst or a tumor, it could be nothing".

I was so shocked yesterday that the news didn't sink in until I got home. Saw my hubby and explained what Dr A said. I was so mad. I broke down and cried. I cannot take another blow like this. I'm having the biopsy in two days and it will be a few weeks before I get the results.

I know that $h!t happens, but does the uncertainty of having another biopsy have to happen to me twice? I hope not. If you are reading this blog, please pray that it is negative for the "C" word coz I don't know what I will do if it is. I'm praying it is nothing.