Cancer anyone?

What are the freakin' odds I'll get cancer not once but twice all within two years? Yup, you read it right, two types of cancer.

Yesterday was another big blow to my already shattered world. Dr. A confirmed the "thing" on my right posterior palate that I've had so many years is a tumor. It's called Polymorphous low grade adenocarcinoma. I could not believe it when Dr. A did say it was a tumor. I was so shocked that my whole body was numb. I didn't cry and was proud that I actually had enough strength (thank you God!) while we were talking to Dr. A. Mark was with me.

According to Dr. A, it is not the type of tumor that spreads nor is it a type of cancer. (Uhm, isn't "carcinoma" the scientific name of cancer? Duh!) He said that it is very slow growing tumor and normally ignored by people diagnosed with the disease. Dr. A said that since it's so slow, doesn't bug those affected by it that it gets forgotten until it is too late. He was a bit frustrated that I didn't go see a doctor sooner, like three or four years ago when I first detected it. My excuse was I thought it was a blister and it doesn't bug me so I didn't see the need to have it checked. (Note to self: go see a doctor ASAP if you notice any bumps in your body, coz quite honestly I've had the tumor even before I had breast cancer!)

Mark asked if surgery is necessary. Dr. A said that like any tumor it has to be removed. If it lingers chances are it will get worse. I say take it off as soon as possible!

The silver lining, as Mark would call it, is that I do not need chemo or radiation. Oral surgery is the only way to take it off. Mark said it will be a minor inconvenience or setback but nothing I need to worry about. Easier said than done especially if you'd had a bout against cancer like me.

So what's next? Dr. A referred me to a specialist in downtown Toronto since he doesn't know anyone from my hometown. A CT scan or MRI will be done to see how far it's gone or if it has affected my bones. I hope I can see a specialist within the next couple of weeks.

Just before we left Dr. A's clinic I lost it and started crying. I wasn't sure if I was crying because it was such a relief to hear I won't undergo chemo/radiation again or the fact that I have another type of tumor. In my world, tumor is a tumor and cancer is cancer, no matter what or how you tell me. It is frustrating to say the least, and now I'm kicking/hating myself for not doing anything about it years before. But what's done is done and I can't do much about it, except move forward. Be thankful that my gut instinct told me to finally do something about it and I did.

Thinking positive after this big blow will be challenging. I have yet to come to terms with this news. It's hard to accept especially since I just bounced back to my old self after beating breast cancer. There I was starting to feel good about myself and my health, then bam! I got knocked out again.

However, in spite of it all, I think this is another challenge that I have to face and maybe has its reasons why I got it. Like I always said everything happens for a reason. Prayers have been my biggest defense and so far God has not disappointed me. But I do hope and pray that this will be the last "C" for me, I've had my share. So God, please help me.