Tick...Tock....

Five more weeks to go before I go back to work...

I'm kind of having some anxieties about it. Mixed feelings. I'm excited because it will be another closure for me, another chapter of my life almost done. A sense of normalcy that I've been yearning for. Like Dr. K told me "you need your life back". True.

I'm a little scared too. Me? Scared of work? Yup, that's true. It's hard to explain how I feel. I've been looking forward to going back to my normal life, like going back to work. Since I've been diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent aggressive treatments, things have been different - my outlook and priorities in life, my values, me(!), it's a whole new ballgame. The normal life I had pre-cancer is not the same as the "new normal" after the treatments. I read that this is not unusual for cancer patients/survivors. Several questions are going through my mind every so often. Will I be able to pick up where I left off at work before my treatments? I may not look or feel sick but can my body handle the daily demands of my work? Can I handle the stress at work? Will my mind be as sharp (I think) as before? With brain fog, this is a little bit scary for me.

So many uncertainties (sigh) I guess I'll have to figure these out once I go back to work. I've been psyching myself about it for a couple of weeks now. And when the time comes I sure hope that I will be ready for it, physically, emotionally and mentally. I'll keep you posted.