I think I am getting paranoid with every ache, bump or pain I feel since I had cancer. Is a new bump a lump/tumor? Is a pain a sign of another major illness?
When I hear or read stories about people having skin cancer (it was in the news this week) or if a breast cancer survivor develops something new like pancreatic or ovarian cancer, my anxiety level goes up. My worrywort persona prevails. Are my moles cancerous? Should I see a specialist? Should I get an ultrasound to check if my internal organs are normal or not. My mind goes crazy just thinking about it. I should probably talk to a peer counsellor coz it's driving me nuts.
It's hard to explain how I feel but it's an uneasy one. If you haven't been a cancer patient like me you will never understand how I feel. You can call me crazy or paranoid but that's how it is. But Nurse Betty (I'll call her that since I forgot her name) told me most cancer patients think every aches or pains we feel after our diagnosis might be something serious. She said this feeling of paranoia will be hanging on my shoulder for a little while and my reactions are not unusual.
It's a crazy feeling and I hope you will never feel it.
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