Life is full of uncertainties we don't know what will happen next. Sometimes we also find ourselves asking what if something else happened instead of what did.
Since I've been diagnosed with breast cancer, there are times when I wonder what if I didn't find the tumor in my breast. Will I be able to appreciate life the way I do right now? Will I notice how our kids grew taller by an inch or two, their laughter and how they enjoy the simplest things in life? Will I value my marriage as much as I do now? Will I have a stronger faith in God like I do now? Probably not. We live in such a fast-paced world that we tend to take some things for granted, the people in our lives, the world we live in and our faith in God.
Staying positive. Everyone is telling me to stay or think positive. More often than not, I have been. But would I feel the same if my prognosis was different?
Will I be as positive as I am now? Will I have hope? I would probably won't. Since we found out that the cancer did not spread and the three lymph nodes removed from the surgery were all tested negative for cancer, I have been very thankful that my prayers were heard. I still pray every chance I get because I am not out of the woods yet. I'm still receiving treatment.
I am blessed with a great family and excellent friends who loves and support me. What if I'm single and have no one to turn to? I'd probably go crazy.
Fortunately the what ifs I mentioned today are merely my thoughts. Reality is I have breast cancer, trying to stay positive as much as I can and I value life now more than ever.
Everything happens for a reason and I believe that God had His reasons why He gave me this challenge. I can think of a number of reasons why: to make me closer to God; to have a different perspective in life; to make me realize what I've been missing in life and to make me feel how lucky I am to have a loving husband, two beautiful kids and supportive family/friends, to name a few. Thank God for that.
For sure I will have many more what ifs in my lifetime because nobody knows what lies ahead. But for now I will take it one step at a time and not worry about the future.
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