The "new" do

It is Day 3 since my hair went on the chopping block. My head's been sensitive and tender these past few days that it makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it was headache or the tenderness that's been bugging me. The headache usually happens late afternoon or early evening. I don't know what's wrong but something's cooking inside my head.

Whatever's left of my hair are now coming off like crazy. But the sight of the smaller size hair doesn't scare me. It was acceptable. It feels so different, so weird and so depressing. I told family and some friends that when I lost my hair, it felt like I lost my confidence. Strange as it may sound, that's how I feel. It doesn't feel like the old me.

The hair loss from Friday plus my second chemo tomorrow equals anxiety. It's hard. Personally I think the hair loss is worse than the chemo. My friend Lin told me how vain I am when it comes to my hair. She knows me well. ;) I know, I know my hair will grow back and it is temporary, but I'm sure you'll feel the same way when you're in my shoes.

Mark's been trying to cheer me up but I can't even force myself to smile. My mom's been telling me the wig looks so real I shouldn't worry about it.

Yes, it looks so real and a lot like my hair before I lost it. My kids have no clue. When I "debuted" the "new" do to Mark's family tonight they didn't even notice until I told them. ;) With that kind of reaction I felt better. :) The best reaction was my father-in-law's he almost fell off his chair, well kind of, he could not believe it. He even asked me to take it off. Uh, no way Jose. I told him I wouldn't take it off even if he begged on his knees. I just couldn't.

Anyway, my family and friends said it looks great. Maybe it isn't so bad. Maybe the new do will bring a new me :)