Chemo and Company

When I started chemo it felt like I was hosting a party and uninvited guests crashed my party. Those gatecrashers are the side effects. My doctors warned me about them, they can come any time without warning. And they have, slowly but surely.


The first to arrive were nausea and vomitting. It wasn't fun but we were expecting them. They came right after my chemo. It was helpful that Dr. K prescribed those three anti-nausea, anti-vomitting medicines. They were great. I guess I was at my worst on the first day. I didn't take as much nausea pills as I should've but I did on the second, third and fourth day.


Next was headache and fatigue. Fatigue came right after nausea and vomit. It felt like you have a flu but with no fever. Also, I've been experiencing headache since the chemo especially in the crown area. The headache made its presence felt during chemo with the pins and needles sensation. It was bearable. The headache comes and goes but with the help of Tylenol it was tolerable. But there have been days I could not handle it.

One fear I have when I get the headache is that maybe something is happening in my head that will make my hair fall sooner than I think. :( Since the first chemo, I've been stroking my hair almost everyday. I want to remember how it feels like. I know it will grow back but I dread the day when I stroke my hair and a big chunk comes off. That's a depression waiting to happen. Oh boy.


Another side effect is body ache. There were a couple of days last week when my lower back hurt so bad I could not even sit straight. Add headache to that equation and it was torture. Body ache or bone pains are possible side effects of Neulasta, an injection that help boosts my white blood cells.


Then came mood swings. Holy cow, one minute I'm ok, the next minute I'm upset. I was very irritable last week. I hated it but somehow I snapped at almost everything. There were also days when I felt sad or depressed especially at night, when Mark puts his arms around me, I just burst into tears. I can't explain it but these symptoms happens. Damn this treatment.

Dizziness seems to be a common theme. I get dizzy standing up after squatting for a short time or when I bend to pick-up something. It's starting to bug me. So yesterday I saw Dr. C, supposedly to renew my prescription for hypertension. My blood pressure is excellent but I had to tell her what I've been feeling. Dr. C ordered me to stop taking the blood pressure pills she thinks that because of the chemo it is possible that my medication is interfering with my treatment making my blood pressure even lower than usual. Dr. C instructed that I stop taking my medicine for a month, monitor my BP every couple days and make sure it doesn't go beyond 140/90. If it does, I have to take the medicine. She wants to see me in a month's time. We'll see how this goes. The last time she told me to stop taking my pills for two weeks, it wasn't even 4 days into the break and my BP shot up so high I had to take my pills right away.


The "visitor" or side effect I hate most is what they call "chemo brain" where I tend to forget the smallest details or simple words, forget what I just did and I can't concentrate. My coconut isn't functioning properly. Initially I thought I'm really getting old ;) But based from what I read, it sounds like it's chemo brain or temporary memory loss. Darn it! What can I do? I have to exercise my brain - read, write, do puzzles, almost anything to get my mind working. Thank goodness we have the "Brain Age" game (Nintendo DS). I started today and it is a daily training to help improve my brain. It has math and problem solving puzzles.

Oh and lately, I also experienced what most women dread, hot flashes, especially in the wee hours of the morning. It's not fun. One night I could not stand it anymore I just took my top off and felt relieved!!! Menaupose induced by the chemo is one of the "unwanted guests".

However, as bad as it sounds, chemo has a couple of good side effects. It messed up my period, it came earlier than usual but at least it's not as heavy as before. Good news is it will get rid of my fibroids, according to Dr. K. I hope so because my monthly visitor is so long and so heavy it's becoming a nuisance.

Another plus is I lost a bit of weight. Not a lot but I did :) I read somewhere one lady called it the chemo diet. It's a diet I will not recommend to anyone. It's impossible not to lose weight during chemo, the nausea and vomitting is proof enough you can't eat well.

So these are my uninvited guests. They will be my guests five more times until May. After that I never want to see or feel them ever again. I wish that chemo and company will never be invited to your party (your life). They're horrible guests. ;)