A bald new look. Yup, that is how I look these days, well at least in the comforts of our bedroom. I still cannot go out of our bedroom topless a.k.a. bald. ;) I just can't do it.
It takes awhile to get used to the bald look. It was depressing at first. I mentioned before, the loss of my hair meant the loss of my confidence. A lot of people have been very supportive and giving me comforting words to ease the pain. But it still feels different especially when it happens to you. It felt like a part of me is missing.
But I'm slowly getting used to it. It has its perks though. ;) When I got the wig, I bought a special oil, shampoo and serum for my sensitive head. But I use only a drop each time I use the products. I think these will last me throughout my bald phase. That'll save me some money. Another plus, my head's dry by the time I get out of the shower. hee hee. I put away my hairdryer and flat iron, obviously there is no need for those now. What I do like is that it is so easy - take a shower, dab my naked head, put the wig on (or the bandana) and I'm done! I don't even have to style it. :) A co-worker even said I might keep the wig even after my hair grows back because it is so easy to manage, especially on a bad hair day ;) We'll see.
On the down side, it's still not my real hair. Nothing beats the original one. I get paranoid when people stare at me but everyone said it doesn't look like a wig at all, thanks. I also find my head itchy at times but I found a solution this morning, shave it all off! Now my head feels like a baby's butt, well kind of, but humor me anyway. ;) There's also the fear of it coming off when I least expect it, like when it's gusty and windy outside. The wig specialist assured me that won't happen since my wig fits snugly on my head and it's designed to stick even when it is windy. I'm crossing my fingers!!!
Even though I'm getting used to the bald new look I will never have the courage to go topless in front of anyone other than my husband or my Mom. For me it feels uncomfortable. I feel naked without it. Around the house I wear a bandana or a hat but never topless. The kids are used to it. When I need to let my head breathe or take a break from head covers, I go to our bedroom and always lock the door. It's a relief when I take it off but I find it cold/chilly when I do not have a head cover. I never sleep without a sleep hat because it gets cold at night.
I don't mind wearing the wig. Whenever I wear it, it feels like there's a bit of weight on my head, it feels like you're wearing a hat or a toque. It gets comfortable after awhile that I sometimes forget I'm wearing a wig. A couple of times I had the urge to take it off in restaurants. Since it's still winter it felt like I'm still wearing my toque. Good thing I didn't or it would've been so embarassing (or traumatic) for me. Now I always think twice before doing anything especially if it involves my head. ;) I will probably have a different attitude come summer time when it is hot and humid. I'll let you know.
Man, I still can't believe I'm bald but I am. :| Dr. K told me it will start growing back after my last chemo. I was excited. But I read through blogs and discussion boards that it doesn't grow right away. Like chemo treatments, hair growth is a unique experience. Some women experience hair growth right away, some don't. Depending how my body reacts to the chemo, my hair might grow immediately or it might take a long time. Hopefully the shorter one. ;)
Before chemo, I don't wear much make-up. I only use powder, concealer, mascara and a lipstick most of the time. With the bald new look I started wearing make-up again, the works. I wear make-up even if I'm only doing errands, go to the grocery, go to the bank or basically anywhere I need to go to outside the house. I'm doing this probably to make up for the hair loss. What I learned from the cancer centre is if I look good, I will feel better. And it is doing just that. Since I started chemo I've received compliments from family/friends that I look good. Thanks! :) Without make-up I don't look as good, skin discolouration has started. I look funny without make-up, the dark circles under my eyes are more prominent and right after chemo, I look insanely sick. But thanks to make-up and the techniques I learned from the "Look Good, Feel Better" workshop at the cancer centre I look good. :)
Ah, the bald new look.
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